


ODAAT Meta Collection

by deandratb



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Gen, Hogwarts Houses, Meta, Pet Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deandratb/pseuds/deandratb
Summary: Metas from my tumblr, copied here for safekeeping.
Relationships: Elena Alvarez & Schneider, Penelope Alvarez & Schneider, Penelope Alvarez/Schneider
Comments: 13
Kudos: 32





	1. Alvareider Pet Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My headcanons about pet names, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613486738711707648/important-alvareider-question-what-petnames-do)

_Important alvareider question: What petnames do you think they would have for each other when they start dating? And, do you think Penelope would start calling Schneider by his name instead? I have the headcanon that *everyone* knows they are dating because one by one, each memeber of the family heard her call him 'Pat' in random moments._

I left this question in my inbox for way too long, sorry <3 mainly because I am TERRIBLE with petnames. Like, even in a relationship–and I was with [@actuallylukedanes](https://tmblr.co/me7RR8OASSiePT8VFqaoEvA) for basically my whole adult life and had no reason to be awkward about anything with them–I just feel really weird, and sort of fake, trying to use terms of endearment. I don’t know if it’s an autistic thing, though that’s my best theory, because I know some people on the spectrum have quirks about how they relate to people’s names.

So it was hard for me to try and headcanon Alvareider petnames when I don’t even know how to mentally be someone who uses them. But since I’m trying to answer outstanding ODAAT asks this week, no matter how tricky they are…I like ‘babe’ for Penelope to Schneider, on a casual everyday basis, and I think she would also tend to call him things that don’t sound romantic but in a really loving voice, cuz that’s kind of their dynamic already. With them, I could see her using ‘dummy’ as a petname, lol. 

For Schneider, I think he’d probably use all the endearments he could get away with, because worst-case scenario she laughs at the really cheesy ones, and he likes making her laugh so it’s kind of a win-win. ‘Sweetheart’ is one I like for him, also ‘darling,’ but with seriously random old-fashioned ones thrown in like ‘honeybunch’ or ‘angel.’ I mean, I think this ask might be from before s3 came out, but as of now, canon Schneider is someone who spent his free time brainstorming petnames for Syd and Elena when they didn’t even want him to! I’m guessing he would get creative.

And my headcanon about Schneider’s first name has always been (since back when I wrote my very first Alvareider fic and we didn’t even know what his name was yet) that Penelope still calls him Schneider, most of the time–but when she does call him Pat, she uses his first name like a caress, like a precious thing, so that it always gets his attention or hits him hard or is otherwise meaningful. Because there’s a kind of intimacy to it that just makes it feel like love. 

In which case, your headcanon would absolutely match up with mine, because nobody could hear her say his name like that and not figure out what was going on between them. (Even if maybe she does it a couple times before they’re actually together, because she has The Feelings without knowing it yet and it makes her feel closer to him to use his name now.)


	2. Schneider and the Family - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly Alvareider-tinged thoughts on Schneider and his relationship with Pen's family, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171821578130/thanks-for-turning-me-on-to-the-penelopeschneider)

_Thanks for turning me on to the Penelope/Schneider ship. Something about Schneider really breaks my heart. He's just so utterly genuine, and really selfless underneath the rich dude jokes...he's almost got a childlike quality (not to be confused with childish), where love is earnest and simple and without reservation once he cares. It's almost like he's still that kid waiting for someone to actually love him back._

Okay this is take #2 cuz tumblr ate the first one. You sent this days ago, anon, and I’ve just been hanging on to it bc I really love Schneider and I knew it would become an essay.

And you’re so welcome for me pulling you into my new fave ship!! The funny thing about them as a pairing is that once I started thinking about WHY I love them, I realized how much they have in common with my more serious OTPs…yet they’re best friends on a sitcom, and it shouldn’t make sense but it does and it’s beautiful. 

Honestly, one of my favorite things about Schneider is that S1 sets him up as the comic relief, not much more important than Penelope’s coworkers. His sobriety and privilege and weird hobbies are all turned into punchlines, and they could have left him there. But in S2 they gave him so much more depth without changing his character at all, really–when you rewatch S1 he’s still the same guy, but now you can see where some of his jokes aren’t really that funny, they’re a coping mechanism. And by the S2 finale, when he claims them as family you get it. He’s earned it. It’s not funny at all anymore.

**More Schneider ramblings below the cut. :)**

So the more I study him _(and yes, I have studied him, I’m turning canon into a detailed guide about everything we’ve learned re: his backstory so far cuz I have a problem)_ the more I feel like he’s really relatable. Which is not something I ever expected to say about a rich white dude. 

But Schneider is the epitome of someone whose emotionally neglectful childhood turned him into an adult who is desperate to be loved. Who expects people to leave him or not like him very much…who is himself full of love and gives it away to people who deserve it AND people who don’t. He’s unconditionally devoted to his best friend and her entire family, he’ll be their mentor or support or punching bag when they need it without hesitation, which is so pure it hurts my heart.

Ir hurts my heart even more that he doesn’t demand anything back, though. He focuses on them and their needs completely, and while it’s easy to list off moments that demonstrate why Schneider is Penelope’s best friend, times he has helped and supported and openly loved her, the reverse is harder. I think those moments are there, but much like Lydia visiting Schneider in rehab prior to S1…we haven’t gotten to see them.

And Schneider trying to do romance…wow is he lowkey out to break your heart. Thanks to what he witnessed growing up, he thinks a good relationship can be two people who don’t even like each other, that love probably isn’t real, and he jumps at the chance to be married, like he just needs a person to belong to–anyone who’ll have him.

He’s used to nobody taking him seriously, he even leans into it. After all, he’s completely fucked up his life, right? Five years of sobriety don’t change his addictive personality, he was too wasted to retain an education, and since he has money very little is expected of him. So why bother?

So instead of demanding respect and appreciation, he just goes around quietly earning it. Is he great with tools? Tbh, who knows. Penelope praises him in the pilot but we mostly see him talk about paying someone else to do the work until he trains Elena…yet do any of the tenants complain? No. They trust him to babysit and ply him with friendly beverages and appreciate his companionship because he cares. 

He’s obviously great with kids but claims he’s never thought about wanting them. Is that because he’s in no hurry, or because he thinks he doesn’t deserve kids, given his issues or the family he comes from?

And speaking of that, why do we know zero details about his mom, except that she’s alive? Where was she all those years? Did he get all his terrible ideas about relationships from his serial-remarrying father, or was she a part of that too? I have so many questions, the more I feel like I’ve figured him out.

This is a whole separate essay but deserves at least a mention: Schneider has got to be one of the most privileged characters on TV who not only tries to be aware of his privilege but tries to always listen to the people in his life whose experiences are different from his own and accept their pronouncements as fact rather than arguing because the reality makes him uncomfortable. He learns Spanish just because his favorite people speak it, he joins their cultural celebrations without patronizing them. He’s the outsider in their world and he is always aware of it. More importantly, he doesn’t try to use his money or his status as a way to negate that.

When it comes to Penelope, there’s no question that he loves her. It’s in the way he treats her and looks at her and everything about their friendship-she’s not just his pal, she’s his family. And canon gives us so much room to play with the possibility that he’s already IN love with her too, but he thinks she’s amazing–she’s the best mom and friend and person he knows. Of COURSE he would never have a chance with her. It’s not even a question. So he keeps it to himself.

It’s also clear that she has put him very firmly in a box inside her head labeled ‘lovable goofball who accidentally became her best friend.’ So when he does things that contradict that narrative or surprise her, like getting cleaned up for the _quinces,_ she’s very confused by what she expects to think of him versus how she actually feels.

They’re each other’s found family. They’re ready-made friends-to-lovers. There’s massive potential for pining. He would do anything for her, and when Penelope is at her worst, it’s Schneider she seeks out.

What’s not to love?


	3. Schneider and the Family - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Additional thoughts on Schneider's importance to Pen and her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/172076218500/i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be)

_I love your meta on Schneider and his need to be loved, but season 1 Schneider is underrated! He supports Pen’s treatment for depression, she comes to his apartment for help for the 1st time, he takes Alex to games, he helps Carmen, he helps with the quinces. And everyone says that his addiction is played for laughs, but that ignores when he tells Pen how his father’s behavior contributed to his addiction. The tap dancer is part is a joke, sure, but Pen takes the rest of it very seriously!_

Hi Anon!! Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, I’ve been working on some really epic fanfic this month–I knew this was going to turn into a meta about my meta, so I wanted to reserve some time. :)

And this is why I shouldn’t ramble and post when I’m exhausted, because what you said here is all things I agree with!! Some of it is even the point I was trying to make, but I was too tired to do it well. [here’s the original meta,](http://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171821578130/thanks-for-turning-me-on-to-the-penelopeschneider) for anyone trying to follow along, but you don’t have read that to read this.

What I was trying to get at, about the way they added layers to Schneider in S2, is that S1 Schneider IS underrated–but by the audience. And I actually think there’s a case to be made that that is by design.

Which is to say that if you’re a casual viewer, like I was the first time I watched S1 all in one spree and then moved on to another show, you can enjoy Schneider for being a well-meaning, sweet guy who loves the other characters…while filing him away as mainly comic relief, like Dr. Berkowitz.

The genius of S2, as it makes obvious how much Schneider matters to everyone around him, is that it builds on what’s already right there in S1.

But you have to be paying attention.

_(ramble behind the cut…TL;DR Schneider is totally a member of the family in S1 but the show doesn’t show that he BELONGS in the family until S2)_

So, in S1 we first meet Schneider as the apartment super. Penelope introduces the audience to him as the only white guy she trusts to do repairs in her home. We learn he eats with them a lot, and that he resists her subtle hints that maybe he’s around too much.

In the first season, all of Schneider’s sobriety mentions are played for laughs, until Elena’s coming out storyline. We get a lot of mentions, actually–about his addiction to gambling, his stints in rehab, his five year chip–but he talks about it breezily and other characters don’t invite him to elaborate.

As viewers, we know he’s an addict and an alcoholic who’s working a program but since he’s not the focus of the show, we’re not asked to think about it much. However, since Penelope is separating from someone who is also struggling with addiction and we know they celebrated Schneider’s milestone right after moving in (when they barely knew him), we can infer that she takes this very seriously.

In S1, he’s clearly a good friend to not just Penelope, someone she trusts when she needs help with embarrassing stuff like online dating or buying a car…but also to Lydia, who gives him dance lessons, and to Alex as becomes his chaperone for games.

They’re comfortable enough with him that when Elena invites Josh over, Alex accidentally outs her to Schneider, Schneider feels like it’s his responsibility to protect her from being alone with a boy, and Lydia and Pen demand that he tell them what happened.

The idea that Schneider and Penelope would be dating is hilarious to them when Victor mentions it, but he’s so embedded as a part of the family that Victor jumping to that conclusion also makes sense in the moment.

Schneider is **in** the family. We see it, in the first season. Absolutely. But the show doesn’t tell us that without a wink and a nod to how funny it is–how this guy adopted these Cubans without their permission. And isn’t that hilarious and cute, the way they tolerate his decision to have done that?

For me, the clearest evidence of that is the _quinces,_ where we see Schneider get folded into the preparations like just another Alvarez, despite his troubles with Spanish, and we see him make the understated grand gesture with Carmen because while his bond with Elena isn’t shown as often as with Alex, he loves her too.

But even with all of that, even though he showed up to get Penelope wearing a suit that is COLOR-COORDINATED WITH HER DRESS because the wardrobe department is trying to kill me…when Victor leaves and Penelope joins Elena for the father-daughter dance, what do we see, as viewers?

Penelope dances with her daughter, talking to her until she nods through her tears. Alex and Lydia join them, and Elena accepts the extra comfort from her family, as they all sway together.

And then, Schneider joins them.

The part I love is the way he touches his cheek to Penelope’s, like he’s giving his support to her as well as her daughter, and she’s thanking him for it.

But the part that makes it clear that he’s still not quite one of them is that when Elena sees him coming to join the group, she laughs a little. It’s a fond, grateful-to-be-loved laugh, but she laughs…and the audience laughs, too.

Because they’re supposed to. Because that’s what the scene was written to tell them to see. Here’s this guy who just keeps inserting himself into Elena’s family, an adopted member of the Alvarez/Riera clan who doesn’t quite belong.

And then, that’s followed by the first episode of S2, where Elena tells him that he’s not a part of the family and he says he hates ‘that joke.’

A reminder, for the benefit of the audience as the new season starts, that Schneider sees himself as part of the family but he’s not quite in. They love him, and value him, and even trust him like no other white guy…but he’s still apart.

BUT THEN.

Oh, then.

In S2, among other things, Schneider:

  * is the first person to see that Penelope is really mentally unwell without her meds
  * explains to Elena, who has always been loved, how a lack of love made him value what he can do for other people
  * tries to help Penelope study more effectively and makes it clear that his home is always there if she needs a little quiet
  * talks openly about when he hit bottom with his addictions, barely cracking jokes
  * tells Penelope without hesitation that any choice she makes about future kids will be the right one and praises her skills as a mom
  * continues to support Alex at his baseball games, making food and embarrassing signs for everyone to wave
  * tries to make Lydia more comfortable even though she’s not awake to see it, because that’s all he can do to show how much he cares



So before I keep going for days, because I could, here’s what matters.

S1 of One Day At A Time gave us _[smudged first name]_ Schneider, who is always there when anybody needs him, and it told the audience that he considers himself a member of Penelope’s family.

S2 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we were told about in S1, and it SHOWED us where he came from, how it led him to who he is now, and why that makes him a part of the family.

During the quinces dance in 1x13, when Schneider joins them on the floor, the audience laughs. 

When Schneider tells a comatose Lydia in 2x13 that her family is also his family… **nobody laughs.** Because it’s not even a little bit funny. It’s just true.

That’s how you develop a character without changing him. And that is why this show is everything to me.


	4. Schneider and the Family - Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on how season three developed Schneider and his role in the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613496731524612096/i-was-just-going-through-my-odaat-meta-tag-and-i)

_I was just going through my #odaat meta tag and I re-read this one of yours [post / 172076218500 / i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be] and now I kind of want you to update it for S3--like, how S3 built upon and added to all the things from the previous two seasons. But I know you have a long list of fics to write and gifsets to make, so no rush, no pressure. But if you're inspired, I'd love to read your thoughts!_

as s4 starts tonight, now seems like a great time to update that meta series :D

since it’s been two years, here are the adorably retro rambles i wrote back then _(i was so newly in love with schneider and his found family! it’s cute to see!)_ :

[part one](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171821578130/thanks-for-turning-me-on-to-the-penelopeschneider) & [part two](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/172076218500/i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be)

for those who don’t want to spend all day reading them, the gist is that an ask invited me to discuss schneider, and i did…and then i got another ask disagreeing with a claim they thought i was making about schneider in the first one. but my conclusion overall was:

> _S1 of One Day At A Time gave us [smudged first name] Schneider, who is always there when anybody needs him, and it told the audience that he considers himself a member of Penelope’s family._
> 
> _S2 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we were told about in S1, and it SHOWED us where he came from, how it led him to who he is now, and why that makes him a part of the family._
> 
> _During the quinces dance in 1x13, when Schneider joins them on the floor, the audience laughs._
> 
> _When Schneider tells a comatose Lydia in 2x13 that her family is also his family… **nobody laughs.** Because it’s not even a little bit funny. It’s just true._
> 
> _That’s how you develop a character without changing him. And that is why this show is everything to me._

in this case, you didn’t ask for a new specific angle like i had for the previous metas, so i’m just going to ramble about how schneider, his place in the family and his sobriety are further developed in s3…behind this cut!

honestly s3 is a goldmine for those of us who love schneider. he has more story, he gets to show even more range as a flawed but lovable human, and we get to fill in more details about what continues to be his interesting but not-that-deeply explored life. _(i will not rest until we know if schneider’s original mom is alive and neglectful, pushed aside by his dad–or dead and replaced. I WILL NOT REST.)_

there’s a lot that happens in s3 that i was even specifically wishing for. besides the fact that i wrote his sobriety chip going in the museum as a fic before it became canon (can’t i just write for the show already? i’d be good at it!), i really wanted to see some proof that his friendship with penelope was not as one-sided as it looks in s1 and 2. 

as i mentioned in last year’s metas:

> _Schneider is the epitome of someone whose emotionally neglectful childhood turned him into an adult who is desperate to be loved. Who expects people to leave him or not like him very much…who is himself full of love and gives it away to people who deserve it AND people who don’t. He’s unconditionally devoted to his best friend and her entire family, he’ll be their mentor or support or punching bag when they need it without hesitation, which is so pure it hurts my heart.  
> _
> 
> _Ir hurts my heart even more that he doesn’t demand anything back, though. He focuses on them and their needs completely, and while it’s easy to list off moments that demonstrate why Schneider is Penelope’s best friend, times he has helped and supported and openly loved her, the reverse is harder. I think those moments are there, but much like Lydia visiting Schneider in rehab prior to S1…we haven’t gotten to see them._

well, now here we are. i got my wish, and it broke my freaking heart, but in the good way. penelope wasn’t just there for him in the ways you would expect, like trying to be chill and supportive when his father was going to visit–and then working through her own issues to offer him love and reassurance about his value to her as a person after their resulting fight.

she also faced what was probably one of the worst case scenarios she could’ve imagined for schneider, given everything she’d already lived through with the kids and victor. and she never once hesitated. she did everything she could think of to help him, even when that meant planting her feet and refusing to get out of his way to stop things from getting worse. 

penelope looked at her best friend and knew not only what he was going through in those terrible moments but also what he was capable of in his better ones, and decided not to let him go. not then, not ever, as long as he was willing to keep trying. which of course he was because s3 also told us that losing his true family would be the worst thing he could imagine for himself.

speaking of his sobriety, that was the area where his character was developed in huge leaps this season. i wasn’t expecting that to be his s3 arc when i said this, but again, i give past me a lot of credit for being psychically linked:

> _In the first season, all of Schneider’s sobriety mentions are played for laughs, until Elena’s coming out storyline. We get a lot of mentions, actually–about his addiction to gambling, his stints in rehab, his five year chip–but he talks about it breezily and other characters don’t invite him to elaborate._
> 
> _As viewers, we know he’s an addict and an alcoholic who’s working a program but since he’s not the focus of the show, we’re not asked to think about it much. However, since Penelope is separating from someone who is also struggling with addiction and we know they celebrated Schneider’s milestone right after moving in (when they barely knew him), we can infer that she takes this very seriously._

one of the interesting things to me about victor’s storyline at the end of s1 is that the show doesn’t try to draw parallels between them at the time. the season is just so not **about** schneider that it doesn’t come up, not even with victor staying at schneider’s place after penelope kicked him out. 

the two times schneider seriously discusses his history with penelope are instead in relationship to elena’s coming out (one of the central arcs of s1) and in relationship to penelope’s mental health (one of the central arcs of s2). which makes sense. but by the time we’re heading into s3, we’ve also seen schneider talk to lydia about his past, in more heartwrenching detail than ever before, while she’s unconscious. 

so as much as it hurts to watch it happen because of a relapse, it’s also nice to see him get much more serious moments related to his sobriety in s3. from his counseling of penelope about alex smoking pot, to the alvarez museum, to the balcony with dr. b, schneider talks about it a lot without it being a joke at all. this is awesome and fitting–he has earned being taken more seriously as a character and a family member. 

not all the time, it’s still a sitcom obviously, but in s3 he’s treated like an honorary family member with a serious history of addiction, not just a hipster landlord they like having around.

and the relapse storyline teaches us so much about schneider that we didn’t know before: what triggers him, how well he can lie when it matters to him, what a different person he becomes once he’s no longer sober, and most importantly, what he values enough that it can convince him to stop drinking again after he’s started. all of the pain involved in those reveals makes him seem more like a real person.

in terms of schneider’s growth, i was also really hoping that he would get to experience a healthy romantic relationship at some point. to quote me again:

> _And Schneider trying to do romance…wow is he lowkey out to break your heart. Thanks to what he witnessed growing up, he thinks a good relationship can be two people who don’t even like each other, that love probably isn’t real, and he jumps at the chance to be married, like he just needs a person to belong to–anyone who’ll have him._

s3 did give us some growth for him on that front, though not as much as i would have liked. he met someone he really liked, who seemed to really like him for just who he is, and who seemed to want more than a surface-level relationship of hooking up.

since we don’t know what happened with avery after his father came to town, i’m not comfortable saying that they did have a healthy relationship–we’ve got no proof they didn’t, but also nothing concrete to say that they did. we just know that while they were broken up, they missed each other a lot, and they were really happy to be reunited. 

i won’t feel good for schneider about finally finding his first stable and healthy love in avery until we actually witness them work through an issue rather than just moving past it with no real discussion. ‘i came back and you’re sober again’ is not automatically the same thing as ‘everything is now fine and we’ve learned and grown from what just happened and are a stronger couple because of it.’

also it worries me a lot that schneider thinks of avery as perfect. he has so little experience trying to do the real relationship thing, i need him to learn she has flaws, and that means it’s okay that he does, rather than keeping her on that pedestal and believing he’s unworthy. because that’s already a vibe he’s given off since we met him, and i just want better for him than that.

and when it comes to schneider’s place in the alvarez family? whereas s2 left him as a firmly self-identified alvarez, s3 kicked off by showing us that he had been enveloped into the larger family with the funeral–and then both of his major storylines this season, his father’s influence on him and his relapse, solidified it even further. 

elena puts extra work in on the whole building to help makes schneider’s dad proud of him, and the whole family welcomes the man despite their valid misgivings–with penelope even very impressively not punching him in the throat. it was entirely for schneider’s benefit that they tried so hard, especially pen. he deserved their love and effort where his father really didn’t.

and when his father’s presence threatens to take him away from them in a fundamental way, turning him into someone they don’t recognize, i honestly think it scares penelope. she gets angry, and she lashes out, sure, but underneath that she’s scared too, because she’s supposed to be able to count on schneider. he’s one of them, he’s family–not one of those guys. ‘the man.’ 

so their reconciliation not only mends their bond but strengthens it, because all that penelope wants is for him to stay family. to stay theirs. 

which is a priority she probably would not have expected to have back in s1, but it’s crystal clear that it’s true in s3, especially once she realizes schneider might be drinking again. 

her immediate reaction to the possibility is denial, which i love because it shows how deeply she really does trust him at that point. he’s not just the friend who sends her dogs in wigs and drinks coffee with her mom: he’s a man she expects to be stable and present in her life, even though she **knows** his history includes decades of addictive behaviors. 

it also shows that she doesn’t wantit to be true, possibly even more than she believes it couldn’t be. she knows how addiction works, she has to know that schneider’s not guaranteed to stay sober even after five years without a drink. but she **needs** him to be.

the way the rest of the family rallys around schneider further makes it clear: he’s part of them, yes, but not because he’s forcing his way in. he’s wanted there. in s3, schneider is an IMPORTANT member of the family, who is loved even when he makes bad choices and breaks their trust and has to earn it back. 

and that’s the biggest evolution for his character, to me. after the way s3 ended, it’s hard to imagine schneider not being a part of their lives–not because he refuses to leave them alone, but because they wouldn’t have it any other way.

now, much as i like to share my grievances about parts of s3, schneider’s characterization isn’t on that list for me at all. it remains remarkably consistent for a character who started out on the periphery. and honestly, before i reread these metas today, i hadn’t thought about that much. 

you can finish watching s3, where schneider is 30 days sober and still trying to pull his life back together after relapsing, and then start watching the pilot episode, and there he is–the same guy we know and love and understand better than we did in the beginning.

so, to end this the same way i looked back at the first two seasons…

_S3 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we had gotten to know better in S2 and showed us a completely foreign side of him, using that to make clear just how important he is to the family now._

_After Penelope told Schneider he wasn’t really part of the family in 3x10, she went to lengths she never had before–handholding and sincere compliments–to make sure he knew that wasn’t true. And afterwards, when Schneider put them above his own father, because her family **is** his family and everyone knows it…it was a completely serious moment._

_That’s how far Schneider has grown in Penelope’s esteem, and as a character, in just three seasons. Without losing what makes him Schneider. Which is why this show is still everything to me._


	5. Schneider and Mental Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Schneider's connection to mental health struggles, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/186271512470/ugh-this-is-so-annoying-but-i-focus-way-to-much-on)

_ugh this is so annoying but i focus way to much on throwaway dialogue? and one line i cant quite shake is in the hello, penelope episode where schneider says "ive been around enough to know when people are not okay..." you could see that as "oh i hang out here a lot and i can tell when youre upset" but he could also just mean in general. combined with how carefully he handles pen's suicidal thoughts later in the ep, it makes me wonder how much experience he's had with things like that_

i do wonder about this too, anon! 

i have always headcanoned schneider as either having mental health stuff in his family background (WHERE IS HIS MOM? WHY DOES HE NEVER TALK ABOUT HER?? his grandmother put vicodin in everything, etc) or having learned a lot from spending as much time in AA and rehab as he has. 

when you combine that with **who** he is (sympathetic, an active listener, friendly and interested in other people on a daily basis–the kind of guy who loves all his tenants and tries to be what they need on an emotional level rather than just a business one) i think it’s easy to imagine him learning a lot about people going through depression, anxiety, etc. how many people do you think he’s met in rehab/AA who are living with PTSD, for example? he’s the perfect anchor for penelope that way.

and that’s not even including the possibility that schneider himself has lived through hard stuff. he’s been pretty clear all along about the fact that his addiction history is tied into his lonely childhood, his lack of love and support growing up, the way he was transplanted to a new place where he didn’t feel at home as a young adult and was left there at pepperdine to drown. 

i’ve never personally explored any headcanons where schneider has a history of mental health struggles, beyond his sobriety, but the idea of them makes sense. drunk teenage schneider drinking his dreams away sounds pretty depressed to me, and i feel like a lot of therapy probably went into teaching schneider how to deescalate situations the way he does, while still standing up for himself in a quiet, kind way. 

this is a level of schneider that i love, that’s why the show snuck up on me so much. they only give us hints about his background, about what he knows and has seen and has been through, but the writing and the acting work together to add so much into those flashes of who schneider really is underneath the jokes. it’s a lot of fun to think about (and discuss!) because there’s only so much we’ll ever learn directly from schneider about that stuff. 

he exists more to support the alvarezes than to lean on them (s3 developments being the first crack in those walls) and it’s not just because they’re the center of the show. he’s also just more comfortable as a listener, as support, as the person who gives and doesn’t have to risk rejection by trying to take too much in return. he’s more vulnerable around his family than anybody else, and even they don’t know much about who he used to be before he came into their lives.


	6. Penelope Alvarez is a Gryffindor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My thoughts on Penelope's true Hogwarts house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/184766837250/we-know-penelope-is-a-hufflepuff-whos-everyone)

_we know penelope is a hufflepuff... who's everyone else?_

omg I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS, anon. i’m not sure if you came here expecting a rant but it is impossible for me not to rant about it.

did you know i actually sorted the main characters? to make gifsets?? and then my laptop died when i was only halfway through and so i never finished them??? losing access to photoshop when i was right in the middle made it super hard to convince myself to work on them again. because of this ask, though, i finally finished all four houses [and they’re over here](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/tagged/odaat%20hp)!! :D

so thank you for that. anyway, i didn’t just bring that up to promote my gifs (though i’m really proud of those sets!!) but because the best case i can make for who is in which house and why, i did with those gifsets, by matching traits to examples for everybody. i think they all make a lot of sense once you think about it.

but since you asked me here, this is the biggest hill i will forever die on in the world of one day at a time (and @actuallylukedanes, my resident hp expert would do so with me):

## PENELOPE ALVAREZ IS A GRYFFINDOR, NOT A HUFFLEPUFF.

i know what she says. believe me, i’m aware. the fandom took that cute moment and ran with it, too, so i feel like mine is an unpopular opinion. but i don’t care if you boo me, i’m right.

what she actually says, btw, is that she ‘takes a lot of online quizzes’ and it ‘turns out’ she’s a hufflepuff. penelope in canon is not big into ‘nerdy crap’ and it’s not likely that she has the frame of reference to really know whether hufflepuff is accurate for her, just that a quiz told her that’s what she is, and she’s happy about it.

but 1) we don’t know what quiz it was. it could have been a harry potter-themed quiz meant to sort you seriously based on personal traits…or it could have been a random buzzfeed quiz that told her she was a hufflepuff because when it asked her to pick a photo of a shoe she chose the pretty red one.

and 2) penelope isn’t necessarily the best person to ask about how she approaches the world and what’s important to her. it’s completely possible that she might read about hufflepuffs and see herself in their kindness and work ethic, but that doesn’t make her less of a gryffindor at heart.

victor is a gryffindor too, btw, and that’s why they worked so well together and also why they didn’t. and honestly elena gets some serious gryffindor traits from both of them, though i firmly believe she’s more a ravenclaw and would end up in that house along with her Sydnificant Other.

alex and lydia are both slytherin, for good and for bad, and the family hufflepuffs are the show’s extended family members: schneider and dr. berkowitz.

anyway, i’m sorry to respond to your message, anon, by blatantly disagreeing with it…but above everything else, including my otp feelings, i am here to spread the gospel of penelope alvarez’s true hogwarts house. :) so i loved getting this message. a lot.


	7. Schneider's Tenants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons about the amount of tenants in Schneider's building, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/184715669185/how-many-people-do-you-think-live-in-schneiders)

_how many people do you think live in schneider's building? there are five floors, schneider's is 503 so there are two more on his floor, and i think the highest number mentioned was 206 so there are around 6 rooms per floor. makes you wonder how he manages to stay close to allll of his tenants, plus how much time he spends in penelope's apartment, PLUS his hobbies, PLUS his season one nightly antics_

an intriguing thought experiment, anon! now, since schneider’s just listing off a few apartments in s2 when he’s telling elena about it, there could well be more than 6 apartments on the lower floors. but if we stick with that math, then he’s keeping track of 25 apartments in addition to the alvarezes, his hobbies, and his other socializing. 

i feel like it’s reasonable to assume though that some of the apartments don’t require much from him, even by his standards of what being a super is. there are probably some people whose extra needs are a lot less of a time commitment, who he’s only taking care of once a month or less, which would help. 

but mostly, i think the answer to your question is that schneider doesn’t have a full-time job!!! unless he’s sleeping, he’s got nothing but free time available to use as he sees fit, and he’s clearly helped himself stay sober for so long (pre 3.10 anyway) by making sure to fill that time. 

because i like math, let’s see. assuming that maybe 2/5 of his tenants don’t hang out with him, 1/5 like to see him every week, and the rest see him every other week or so, and assuming that a typical visit lasts four hours (it’s probably less, but that’s the example he gives Elena)…

  * 20 hours each week are spent with the tenants in his neediest 5 apts
  * he’s spending an additional 4 hours every other week with 10 apts
  * assuming he spreads that time out across the week, that would add about 20 more hours each week
  * which would mean he was spending 40 hours a week with tenants instead of at a full-time job



in other words, schneider could hang out with 5 of his apartments every week for 4 hours at a time, spend an added 4 hours with another apartment each weekday all month long, and he would still only be using the time he could otherwise be taking up with a more traditional job. 

since it’s likely that some of his visits are only for an hour or two, i think it’s a lot–but for somebody social like schneider, not impossible. :)

oh, and the actual question you asked was how many people i think live in his building. i have no fact-based reason for it but i’d definitely headcanon the first four floors of his building as having 8 apartments each, not 6, so that’d mean 35 apartments including his own, with some full of families like penelope’s and others housing single occupants. so maybe an average of 3 people per apt? and therefore maybe like 100 people in his building. :)


	8. Alvareider Headcanons Meme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misc headcanons for Alvareider, based on a tumblr game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183714706450/penelope-and-schneider-for-the-ask-meme-3)

_penelope and schneider for the ask meme <3_

**who’s the cuddler:** Schneider more than Penelope, who really likes *being* cuddled. But she’s not opposed to cuddling him when he needs it.

**who makes the bed:** I think Penelope does, out of habit, until she realizes Schneider’s kind of a neat freak and actually enjoys the process. Then she enjoys the extra few minutes with her coffee every morning while he takes care of it.

**who wakes up first:** Between her years in the military and her years as a mom, Penelope’s internal alarm clock is unavoidable. So she wakes up first a lot. But Schneider goes through periods of new interests and enthusiasm for life that have him out of bed before the sun, some weeks. When Pen gets up first, Schneider always follows. When Schneider gets up even earlier than her, Penelope groans into her pillow and buries herself in the blankets and refuses to rise until it’s actually morning…or until he brings her surprise breakfast in bed, which he does sometimes just for fun.

**who has the weird taste in music:** Schneider, though he insists Penelope is really the weird one for being so stuck in the past and unwilling to branch out into underexplored genres. Penelope tries to be supportive and listen to his new discoveries for the first few months they’re together. But between ‘zouk’ and ‘neurofunk’ and something called ‘catstep’ that she’s pretty sure has nothing to do with cats, she reaches her limit quickly. They limit music playing while they’re hanging out to things they both like, and take turns choosing what to play in the car.

**who is more protective:** Penelope is more loudly, aggressively protective in all situations. Schneider would never want to seem like he doesn’t think she can handle herself, when he knows full well that she could beat HIM up if she needed to…but in his own quieter, anxious way he’s as overprotective as Penelope is in her most intense moments. He’s just more likely to throw money and lawyers at a situation and try and defuse things first. (A couple of times when he wanted to keep Penelope out of it he maaaaaay have punched a racist asshole in the face and then thrown money and lawyers at the situation afterwards. He’s not proud of that but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Pen is proud of him for it and thinks he doesn’t know.)

**who sings in the shower:** Both of them. Schneider thinks he’s a rock star and Penelope stops teasing him about it as soon as she realizes it’s a soft spot. Penelope thinks she’s a pop diva and Schneider likes it when she wakes him up to sad 90s ballads.

**who cries during movies:** Penelope cries sometimes, Schneider cries almost every time. Pet movies, buddy movies, dramas, romcoms…he cries, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

**who spends the most while out shopping:** Schneider. And sometimes they fight about it. Eventually they work out a compromise on the money stuff, but Schneider’s not usually someone who looks at prices and does math, whereas Penelope tries to bring her own drinks to restaurants. So it’s always going to be Schneider who spends more.

**who kisses more roughly:** I mean, define roughly. Penelope can be more forceful, and more likely to take over–but Schneider is incredibly enthusiastic because he’s kissing PENELOPE and also when he’s half-asleep and not really thinking about it he’s less likely to be gentle…so I think it depends on the moment. 

**who is more dominate:** Penelope. I feel like this is a rare fandom-wide consensus among the shippers. Pen, no question, and Schneider really likes it that way.

**my rating of the ship from 1-10:** About a 15. This ship is so nearly canon while also being not canon at all that you will get sucked into it and not be able to climb back out. This OTP is the tol & smol trope, the hold my flower trope, the friends to lovers trope, the slow burn trope, the found family trope, etc etc. It’s almost TOO good. But only almost. :)


	9. Schneider and Avery Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the Schneider and Avery relationship, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183539738900/i-feel-bad-for-not-caring-about-avery-and)

_I feel bad for not caring about Avery and Schneider on the show. I mean what do they even have in common besides being rich and hating it. Maybe it’s because they don’t show them as a couple or even her as a character much. Idk, they are just so boring to me. She does seem nice and she’s beautiful and I love that they are married in real life but as a couple on the show? I just can’t see it_

Okay, this is totally you asking for an essay on Schneider and Avery, right? Whoops you’re getting one anyway because I have so many feelings about them and so many opinions I haven’t had much reason to dig into yet.

The genius of Schneider and Avery is that the actors playing them, real-life marrieds Todd & India, have the MOST ridiculous chemistry.

The problem with Schneider and Avery is…the exact same thing.

**The Backstory**

I knew long before S3 came out that Schneider was getting a love interest this season, and that she was going to be played by Todd’s wife, who I wasn’t familiar with at all besides his Instagram photos. I’m not even sure I knew she was an actress until they announced her guest starring role. Because they announced it early, I had a lot of time to build up anxiety over it.

I’m as deep into this fandom as I am because I ship Schneider with Penelope. I love the show exactly as it is, and if they never become canon I won’t love it any less, but that doesn’t change the fact that: 1) I watched the show; 2) I started shipping them; 3) I decided to write my first fic for a sitcom because of them; 4) through fic I made friends and developed headcanons and made more friends and managed to keep writing through some really rough life events; and 5) then from filming announcements and through the fandom, I found out Avery was coming and that the show was going to be including the weird Pen/Schneider sibling vibe in S3.

So before S3 premiered I was really, genuinely scared I might not enjoy S3 as much as I adored S2. What if I hated it? What if I hated Schneider’s new girlfriend??? I wanted to like her so much because I knew the actress was Todd’s wife, but I had no idea if I COULD because I had no idea how they were going to include her or who she would be. And I’ve never hated Penelope’s love interests just because I like her with Schneider, but I had also met several of those by the end of S2. Schneider getting a girlfriend was new.

**1\. Todd and India have more than their fair share of chemistry. Who do I speak to about that?**

Then, in 3x03, we meet Schneider’s new love interest–and I was basically Schneider (as I often am). From the glasses that don’t succeed at all in dulling how gorgeous she is to her nerdy interests and apparent mild social anxiety _(when she asked ”are you making fun of me?” so sincerely, my heart just went…oh. oh okay.)_ I thought she was adorable and funny and even more than that, I’m SO weak for devoted men, I can’t even tell you.

Well, I don’t have to tell you. If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written about Penelope and Schneider, you know. I love men who love women so much they would do anything for them, especially when they’re quietly selfless about it but so in love that it just radiates out of them.

That’s how Schneider has always acted with Penelope, a little bit, even when he wasn’t trying. That’s why I fell for the ship.

But that’s also how TODD acts, opposite India–to a ridiculous degree, in a way that isn’t acting at all. You can feel it hitting you through the television, how lucky he feels just to be with her, just to be NEAR her. It’s so sweet, I die. Schneider/Avery isn’t even my OTP and I’m gonna make them a gifset at some point, just because I cannot handle the fact that Todd looks at his wife that way, every time he focuses on her.

So because this is clearly going to be long, to sum up point 1: Todd Grinnell, who plays Schneider, and his offscreen wife India de Beaufort, who plays Avery? Absolutely fantastic couple. I’m totally rooting for them, these strangers I don’t actually know. Just because watching them act together is a beautiful thing.

Also because India is a sweet human who told me on Twitter that the little nose rub between them after they reunite in 3x13 was improvised by them, not scripted. And you better believe I could not love that more if I tried. THEY ARE CUTE. Conclusion one.

**2: Schneider and Avery have too little screen time to make sense as a couple.**

ODAAT as a show is so strong because it holds the Alvarez/Riera family at its core and builds everything around them. You’re supposed to fall in love with them first, and grow to love the supporting characters around them, as you slowly learn more about them.

Now, in some cases, it’s not a slow process. It didn’t take me long to love Carmen or Schneider–it only took me one scene to love Syd. But the show’s purpose isn’t those characters, at least not at first. It’s Penelope’s family. And the rewarding thing about ODAAT is that the definition of ‘family’ grows and envelopes more of the characters, as time goes on.

Because Schneider was still a (fabulous, lovable) supporting character before S3, he was on the outside a bit, along with Dr. B. I think you can look at the show like a set of circles, with Penelope and Lydia and Elena and Alex in the center circle, then with Schneider & Dr. B. and Syd one ring just outside of that, revolving around them. The support group, most of Penelope’s love interests, and Elena and Alex’s friends are a ring outside of that.

S3 widened the inner circle and pulled Schneider in. It was the first season to actually dig into his backstory, the family he comes from, his sobriety. And while it was amazing, it was still just a start. It was the beginning of showing him as a full family member. It put him in the center circle, and that meant giving him more focused scenes, more story.

But the show is still also about the whole family, and S3 has the same amount of episodes as the first two did. The show included more Schneider, but still only fit in so much. And one consequence of that is that his relationship with Avery exists almost entirely offscreen. They told us more about it than they showed, and let Todd and India’s chemistry fill in the gaps, the unanswered questions.

**3\. What we actually saw onscreen when it comes to Schneider and Avery.**

A meet-cute, which was pretty well-done. We learn she’s a geek along with him, that they’re compatible in at least that one way. We learn they like each other pretty instantly, which isn’t always believable, but the show’s got to move at a fast pace and I respect that. We learn he likes her enough to argue with Nikki, and she likes him enough to do the same. She’s no pushover, and she inspires him to be stronger. A good start.

Schneider spends some time with Penelope in the next episode and Avery doesn’t come up at all. When we see her again, Schneider’s about to have his first real date with her, as far as I can tell, on Valentine’s Day. (No pressure or anything.) It’s clear that Penelope and Avery have met by now, though we don’t know when or how. By the end of the episode we know that Schneider and Avery spent most of their first date lying to each other.

The big reveal, that they have even more in common than they thought, was super predictable to me but still funny, and my only problem with it is that once they land that plot twist, it becomes Avery’s entire personality. She’s no longer the quirky kindergarten teacher who gets along with Schneider the hobbyist because she loves to write poems and appreciates his niche interests.

Now, she’s his rich girlfriend. They get along because when he needs to fix his expensive hot tub, she can suggest they just pay someone to do it. The next time we see her, Avery’s entire existence is a few lines that show how well she gets along with his father because HAHAHA money. And then? We don’t see her at all until her surprise return in the finale.

**5\. What we didn’t see onscreen between Schneider and Avery.**

Offscreen, as far as I can tell, they had other dates, they seem like they were serious enough to probably have had sex, she clearly was invited to some dinners etc with the family (though we don’t know if she went), before he started drinking again and they broke up and then she avoided him completely until Lydia convinced her to give him another chance.

We know Schneider completely blames himself for their breakup, but we have literally no idea what happened to send her running scared. Did he start drinking in secret and she caught him? Did he start drinking around her openly because he thought her reaction would be different from his family’s? Did she leave him because of the drinking or because of some specific thing that happened while Schneider was drunk or for some other reason entirely???

Based on their conversation in the finale, something happened, whatever it was. And Avery definitely knew he needed to be sober, otherwise why else would she be scared to try again?

Therefore the single biggest conundrum that S3 left me with, especially the more I rewatched, was this:

Avery knew Schneider well enough to know he wasn’t supposed to be drinking, or enough to tell there was a problem when his drinking came to her attention. SOMETHING happened that was bad enough for them to break up, and for her to ghost him after.

Avery also knew that Schneider’s family of choice was Penelope and her mom and her kids. She’d met them often enough to be able to talk to them politely, to know where they live.

Why didn’t she say ANYTHING to ANYONE in that apartment as soon as things with Schneider imploded????

How is it that she could be aware enough of Schneider’s life to know his family/best friends, aware enough to be worried about his sobriety, and worried enough to decide they had no future, but not tell his family what was going on when she was clearly aware of it long before they were??

Even if she was unhappy and uncomfortable and didn’t want to get into relationship details with Penelope, she could have just mentioned the drinking part and cut off all further communication! She could have left a note at their door!! She works at Elena and Alex’s school teaching the little kids, presumably she might sometimes run into them on school grounds…and she never said anything.

It drives me crazy because maybe there’s a reasonable explanation for that, for all of it, but I would have no idea what it is, because all of that happened offscreen and wasn’t explored.

**6\. Why it matters.**

With the family at the show’s core, and Schneider only recently included in that center, Avery falls in the outer ring. But because S3 tried to give Schneider more without giving the rest of the family less, there just wasn’t room to flesh out Avery enough.

If you compare her to Max in S2, we saw him interact with the whole family on multiple occasions. Because of that, we got to know him as more than just ‘Penelope’s casual sex buddy who she was friends with years ago.’ He and Pen weren’t my OTP either, but I genuinely liked them together because we understood why they worked. We saw them survive conflicts, face problems, have real conversations.

With Avery, we saw her and Schneider meet and then we saw them present fake bios to each other before the truth came out, and then we saw her be the perfect rich-son girlfriend before disappearing. Their conflicts were left to our imagination. Their deeper moments were left to our imagination. When they get back together, we see Avery after she’s already decided to try again, and Schneider apologizing for whatever exactly happened that we may never know.

As viewers, we can interpret that as generously as we want, but it still leaves us with a relationship that we’re told matters…because we’re told it does. Though I love Schneider and I hate seeing him in pain, ‘he’s sad without her’ is not a detailed case for why he belongs with Avery. And ‘because Lydia vouched for him’ is absolutely not a good enough explanation for why Avery belongs with him.

Even looking at it as though what we learned about her in the beginning holds true, we’re left to assume that Avery loves him enough to support him through his recovery and rebuild trust, because…they’re both pretty nerds with similar feelings about their family money? And he loves her so much he was in hell without her…because to him she’s a ‘perfect angel woman’ (which is so painfully idealistic of him, it makes sense for him but is also begging for him to be crushed again when she falls off that pedestal).

There are as many red flags in the screen time we do see as there are reasons to root for them. She claims to be miserable with inherited money just like he is, but she’s way more comfortable relying on it, talking about it in ways that we just don’t see Schneider do. And the whole point when Schneider’s father visits is that Schneider is not who Lawrence wants him to be–but as far as we know, Avery isn’t putting on an act to get along with him, the way Schneider does. She just IS enough like him. She’s very at ease on his level.

And don’t even get me started on Avery stopping Schneider’s joy over being an Alvarez to make him focus back on her. It’s a joke, but it’s also not a good sign for their future, if any part of her isn’t 100% comfortable with how important to him the whole family is.

**7\. My grand unifying theory.**

I’m convinced that her lack of dimensions, and their relationship lacking depth as much as it does, is because writing Avery in involved bringing India on. I’m not saying I wish they hadn’t!! Again, I adore her. But it’s a problem, and here’s why.

Every serious love interest we’ve seen Penelope have, from Victor to Mateo, is in her orbit mainly, but also interacts with the rest of her life. Max got to know everybody, counseling Alex, being pestered by Schneider, flirted with by Lydia, etc. Victor was central to her life for a long time, so we learn a lot about him through his many family scenes. Mateo has scenes with Penelope mainly, but he’s around the family enough that we learn about him based on that proximity–how he feels about Alex, how his background compares to her family’s.

Avery is Schneider’s first serious love interest, and we see her interact with…Schneider. No conversations between her and Lydia, only one exchange with Penelope when Avery tries to mistakenly console her over being single, then they never directly speak again. Avery doesn’t ever talk to the kids, though they’re super important to his life.

As a show, ODAAT never made me consider the Bechdel test until I was trying to include Avery in an edit about the female character interactions and I realized that that one moment with Pen is the only one. As a character, her entire point, and focus, and existence even, is about Schneider. It wouldn’t be so weird if she were just another Stick Girl, but we’ve seen her included in family events. We know she knows the people in his life. We just don’t see her ever talk to any of them, and I don’t think that was a choice they made to keep her character secluded so much as it was a natural result of adding a character to the outer ring whose only purpose in the story is to date Schneider.

So they created a girlfriend for Schneider, and they worked her into the story enough to give them a relationship, and to make their breakup and reunion important plot points for Schneider’s S3 arc.

And because the show was more focused on the family, Avery’s character was only included where she absolutely had to be, to hit those plot points.

And because the actors have chemistry enough to sell it, ODAAT called that good enough for their characters and that relationship and kept moving.

It’s clear from social media that the cast and crew of the show adore Todd and India, and adore their onscreen relationship just as much. Because of that, I’m not sure if maybe they’re a little blinded to what the whole thing is like for the rest of us, who don’t know them personally, who don’t see Schneider/Avery first as an adorable ship starring these two cute dorks that so clearly are meant to be because the actors are.

But whatever the reason, I think a lot of the people involved in the show ship it harder than the viewers do. I ship Schneider/Avery because she makes him happy and the actors are fun to watch, but I hope they’re not endgame for all the above reasons.

Schneider deserves love and a future with someone, and even if he doesn’t end up with my personal choice for his ideal match, I still want that someone to make sense. I want to be able to root for them for reasons that exist in canon. If the show gets more seasons and we see Schneider and Avery work on/through some issues, if we see him start to treat her like a flawed person he loves rather than like someone he doesn’t deserve at all…if we get to see how the other important people in his life relate to her…then I’ll be more on board.

But after S3, all I can say with certainty is that Todd and India make Schneider and Avery watchable…but they can’t carry the whole relationship based on their chemistry alone.


	10. Schneider's Father And His Sobriety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Lawrence Schneider and his treatment of Schneider's sobriety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183257854405/jicklet-said-slightly-off-topic-all-of-this-is)

_**[jicklet](http://jicklet.tumblr.com/) said: **Slightly off topic (all of this is so good) but this just made it occur to me that Schneider’s dad really thought that rehab was basically a place he could send his son to teach him to hold his liquor properly._

I saved this in my drafts for when I had a second, because I haven’t stopped thinking about this since the first time I watched The Man and it breaks my heart for Schneider so much. 

In addition to a childhood that was emotionally neglectful on his father’s part (and where the fuck is Schneider’s mom, leaving him to talk about his interchangeable stepmoms as if he never saw her again after the divorce??) if not also emotionally abusive, Schneider has spent his entire life wanting to be loved and to make someone proud. 

It’s why he gravitated to Lydia, and why making it into the family museum (and the family) was so important to him. It’s why Lydia showing up for him at that rehab center changed his life. His father may have paid for his rehab, but Schneider was all alone in his recovery.

It’s why Dr. B’s support and pride in him brought him to tears. It’s why he almost went against years of being who he was, to turn the building condo and spend more time with his father, when he was finally offering him approval and love.

The idea that his father would support him so far but no farther–that he would pay for rehab but never offer him love or attention–is hinted at and played for laughs in the first season and briefly discussed in the second. In season three we finally see it, and it hurts. 

Because here Schneider is, now a man in his forties, who has spent years coming to terms with the fact that he cannot control his drinking and he can only have a fulfilling life if he completely abstains. He’s got an addictive personality, that finds new outlets whenever he gets a handle on the old ones, and as much as he jokes around, it’s a real struggle for him just to stay sober.

AND HE HAS. It took him so many tries, and so many years, and he leads a totally different lifestyle now surrounded by the kind of people who make him WANT to work hard at it and keep trying, who give him everything he used to be lacking, in their love and affection and presence. Schneider by S3 is finally not only sober, but comfortably, happily sober. It’s a settled fact for him, something he doesn’t expect praise for, something he shrugs off because he’s used to people taking it for granted. 

Then his father comes back into his life, and all those years of work, all that pain and effort, means nothing. To Lawrence Schneider, his son is a failure if he drinks because he’s a mess who can’t handle it…and he’s a failure if he doesn’t drink, because that means he’s still not in control.

**Schneider’s life is a lose/lose situation** when it comes to the parent who has the most influence over him. He cannot gain his approval except by being exactly like him. And Schneider CAN’T be a carbon copy of his dad. He’s his own person, and he will never be good enough. 

If his father were less of a jerk, that wouldn’t be such a big deal. Lots of kids choose paths their parents disapprove of, or don’t measure up to expectations. But we’re not talking about other parents, with loving disapproval, or measured disappointment. Schneider’s father doesn’t offer him love or affection or even any indication that he LIKES him based on who he actually is. 

As far as we, and Schneider, know, his father’s love is conditional on his son being only who he wants him to be. Which is a crappy way to parent, that has totally and painfully fucked Schneider up, and makes it all the more amazing that he’s such a good second dad to Elena and Alex. 

Honestly, I need S4 to show us the family giving Schneider more credit for that now that they’ve seen actual evidence of how badly his dad messes him up. Penelope encouraging Schneider by asking if he’s going to be a good role model for the kids, rather than using some other example like Lydia (who she knows means the world to him) is EVERYTHING to me and I cry. 

**tl:dr Schneider’s dad being the kind of asshole who thinks Schneider is a failure whether he’s drunk or sober explains so much about why Schneider needs love and also why he struggles and I want to punch the man in the throat for that myself but I’m not wearing earrings to take off**


	11. Snow Headcanons for ODAAT Characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the Alvarez family and Schneider in the snow, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183027884885/alvarez-fam-including-schneider-obvi-snow)

_Alvarez fam (including Schneider obvi) + snow headcanons ❄️⛄❄️_

Fun! Thanks Izzy!! Let’s see:

  * Penelope can take snow or leave it–sure it’s magical and pretty and all that but you try digging Mrs. Resnick out of a freak snowstorm during a weekend in Oregon when the kids were little and then talk to her about winter wonderlands.
  * She gets super competitive about snow sports though. When she beats Schneider at anything, she never lets him live it down as their official ex-Canadian.
  * Lydia has never been able to adjust to snow and cold climates, but when they take the occasional trip as a family, she tries her best.
  * She lets Schneider try to teach her to snowbike, and she goes sledding with Alex. She always ends up next to a roaring fire drinking hot toddies that are mostly rum.
  * Alex was too young to remember the year they spent on a base with heavy snow in the winter, but he absolutely loves it now. He can spend hours on the slopes or building snowmen and only complains a little about how much it messes with his Look™.
  * Elena has no interest in snow or snow sports. Zip. Zero. She will spend all her time with a book, watching it fall outside, unless somebody drags her out to join them.
  * She has fun once she’s in it, though, usually. Alex challenges her to a snowball fight, or Schneider insists she has to come snowshoe with him so he isn’t alone…and she knows he’s right, a snowshoeing Schneider should not be unsupervised, so she gives in and plays in the cold until her teeth chatter.
  * Even after getting his citizenship, Schneider still travels back to Canada pretty frequently to see distant relatives. He keeps trying to get the family to come along, especially since the private plane is gassed up and ready and he’s happy to cover expenses if they let him.
  * Penelope always finds some excuse to avoid the trip: she’s too busy, the kids have school, her _Mami_ hates to fly. But after Schneider’s relapse, it starts to make her anxious, knowing he’s flying back there alone, where so many rough memories live. Where his real family isn’t. She agrees to several Canada vacations after that.
  * Schneider personally invites Syd to join them when a vacation overlaps with Elena’s birthday. Syd has never seen snow before, and is absolutely enchanted by it–the cold, the sparkle, the fun, all of it. Through their eyes, Elena learns to love it too.
  * Alex injures himself snowboarding one trip and Schneider is the first person the resort staff notifies. He proceeds to impress Penelope and Lydia with his obsessive need to handle everything.
  * Schneider pays to get Alex seen as quickly and attentively as possible before devoting himself to keeping the lodge-bound teen entertained for the rest of the trip. They won’t shut up about superheroes whenever Penelope checks in on them, but at least Alex isn’t miserable.
  * Somehow, in between hanging with Alex and slipping the staff extra tips to keep Lydia in rum and talking books with Elena and racing Pen on the slopes, Schneider also finds the time to give himself a crash course in the resort’s safety protocols. He spends two hours with a Powerpoint and a conference room convincing the owners to implement changes to speed up their emergency response times.
  * Penelope is pretty sure a bribe must have also been involved, but however Schneider pulled it off, they listen. And the family gets free meals for the rest of their stay.




	12. Penelope and Lydia Responding to Elena Calling Schneider "Dad"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons about how Penelope and Lydia would react to Elena calling Schneider "Dad," by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182991090345/how-do-u-think-lydia-and-penelope-would-react-to)

_How do u think Lydia and Penelope would react to elena calling Schneider dad??_

Alright, so I have two answers to this, which I thought was an excellent question I got after writing that ‘Elena calls him Dad’ ficlet. :)

In canon, as things are post-S3? I think that Penelope might not be super pleased. As much as she loves Schneider and he’s her person and he’s part of the family, she’s hesitant to actually assign him a parental role. I think that to Pen, Schneider is the family friend who’s definitely more like Tio Schneider in that adopted family way, or the kids’ buddy she can trust to be in charge most of the time. 

So honestly, if it happened anywhere in canon as it exists so far, I expect that she would be confused and probably push back a little, with him later if not in the moment. (After all, S3 gave us Schneider self-identifying as a co-parent, while Penelope reminded him he’s ‘not a dad.’) At the very least, she would want to understand when Elena started thinking of Schneider as a dad, since it was really important to her to see Elena and Victor work on fixing their bond.

In comparison to that, though, the Penelope that lives in my head beyond what we see onscreen–who isn’t threatened or uncomfortable with Schneider’s growing importance to her and her entire family, and who appreciates the way he actively roots for her kids’ relationships with Victor while also being there for them in ways Victor isn’t? 

She totally cracks a joke making fun of him after Elena says it, and probably rolls her eyes when she sees that he’s tearing up a little. Then the second she’s out of sight she lets herself tear up too because Elena’s so much happier and healthier and more whole with Schneider in their lives, and she knows her daughter is lucky that Schneider is the kind of man who accepts her love for exactly what it is, just like he has always accepted her when she needed it most. 

Later, Schneider brings it up when it’s just the two of them, to make sure she’s cool with it because he is, he **so** is, but he doesn’t want her to think he’s overstepping. Penelope tells him not to be a dummy, that Elena didn’t mention it to her before it happened, but if she had, she would have told her daughter she approved. When Schneider seems surprised by the whole thing, and a little like he’s not sure he can trust it (because that’s how he is with kindness, he never thinks he deserves it, not really) she nudges him from her spot next to him on his couch and starts listing off everything he’s done for Elena over the years until he stops shaking his head and believes her.

Penelope is the one to tell her _Mami_ it happened, and Lydia is happy about it–and not surprised. “Elena needed you,” she tells him the next time she pours his coffee. “We all did. Why do you think I started setting you a place at the table?”

Then he does cry. And Penelope doesn’t tease him about it.


	13. Penelope Borrowing Schneider's Shirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons about Pen sleeping in Schneider's shirts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182990418975/please-consider-pen-sleeping-in-schneiders)

_Please consider pen sleeping in Schneider’s T-shirt’s and them coming down to her thighs because of the size difference - A_

I actually love this idea so much that I put it one of the chapters of my fake dating fic for them :D but since I didn’t go into that much detail I now present to you some headcanons:

The first time, they aren’t even dating. Penelope occasionally sleeps over when Avery’s out of town and Schneider’s having a rough night. They watch movies and play video games and talk and she thinks that if only Victor had trusted her to be there for him half as much as Schneider does, they might have made it through his recovery together. It doesn’t occur to her that she compares her best friend to her ex-husband an awful lot these days. When she gets salsa on her pajamas in an accident Schneider dubs ‘The Great Saucesplosion of 2019,’ he offers her one of his shirts while her PJs are in the laundry. She argues with him about whose fault the incident was and forgets to feel weird about sitting curled up on his couch in just his shirt. It smells like his detergent, which reminds her of his hugs, and she has only good dreams that night.

After they get together, Schneider is as casual about sharing his clothes as he is about everything else–which is to say, very. It makes him smile whenever Penelope leaves the room and somehow comes back in one of his shirts and he isn’t even sure where she found it or where her own clothes went. She loves them though, he spends way too much money to get the super-soft cotton ones she always wants her hands on or under, and then of course she finds an excuse to sleep in them instead of her Target pajamas.

She steals his shirts whenever she thinks she can get away with it, sneaking them home to wear when she can’t see him and misses him and needs to feel safe like she does in his arms. It works a lot of the time, and Schneider never complains. As soon as he figures out where his t-shirts are disappearing to, he just buys extras. When he has to travel and she can’t go with him, Penelope starts finding extra shirts tucked into her dresser or under her pillow, shirts that she can tell he wore before leaving them for her.

When it’s too cold, she’ll wear her long pajama bottoms–and still find an excuse to borrow his shirt along with them half the time. When it’s warm enough that she can be comfortable in just his shirt, it tends to eventually get the better of Schneider, who is perpetually distracted by her legs and her skin and her everything. It’s not why she likes them…but it is a nice bonus.


	14. Penelope Falling For Schneider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on what it would take for Penelope to realize she's interested in Schneider, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182782602330/okay-i-watch-the-show-under-the-impression-that)

_Okay I watch the show under the impression that Schneider has been in love with Penelope since day one and has just gotten really good at pushing those feelings down so that the two of them can be friends. So I was wondering what you think it would take for Penelope to realize she’s in love with Schneider?_

Hi anon!! I’ve always thought the same thing too. There’s just so much on the show that makes it clear that Schneider thinks Penelope is absolutely amazing. He seems exactly like a guy who fell in love with someone he knew wasn’t interested and instead of becoming a friendzone creep, genuinely devoted himself to loving her in only the ways she was comfortable with and that is why I absolutely adore him, because that’s still really rare tbh.

I feel like the show has established the fact by now that Penelope loves Schneider back, as chosen family, so the basic affection and appreciation is already there. What’s missing is Penelope understanding that her feelings for him aren’t familial or platonic.

So, two things need to happen. One, she has to recognize that even though her mother loves him and he loves Lydia right back, he’s not part of her family in a brotherly way. 

I think the show already started going there in S3, in a way that was really hard for me to watch, because Penelope pushed him away and put distance between them and made it clear that she doesn’t see him as a father figure to her kids and it’s not cool that her mother treats him like a son…but without being very good at **also** making it clear how she would prefer he be part of her family and in her life, so it just made Schneider fear he was losing all of them. 

As painful as it all was though, I really do think it could be a good sign for them as a ship, because there has to be a reason why Penelope is getting less comfortable with the idea of Schneider as family in some ways, even while she’s more affectionate with him than ever, and more determined to support him the way he usually supports her. If it’s not because he’s an Alvarez now…than how does **she** see him fitting in?

And secondly, as I firmly believe S3 proved by giving us sparkless Mateo, there’s no way that she’ll realize she’s in love with Schneider until she first faces the fact that she’s attracted to him and accepts and deals with it. (Most likely by making the first move because Schneider is super careful about her boundaries and even knowing her flaws clearly has her on a bit of a pedestal so I suspect anything short of her taking action wouldn’t convince him that she likes him back.)

We already know she finds him attractive, even if she only admits it when she’s sleep-deprived and a change in his style shocks her into it. We’ve seen an evolution too, from S1 when she finds the idea of sex with him disgusting to his face and then hilarious to Victor’s, to S3 when she’s quick to correct Schneider’s father about not being his girlfriend–but just as quick to want to punch the man for thinking she’s not good enough to **be** his girlfriend. 

In S3 we also see her take other people’s comments about Schneider in stride in a way she didn’t used to. When the women in her support group discuss how hot he is and how amazing he is for other reasons, she brushes it off but she doesn’t bother to argue. When she tells them how he helps her through anxiety attacks and Ramona says even she finds that attractive, Penelope jokingly winks at her while saying nothing at all. She may not be willing to admit that she’s interested in him, but by S3 she’s past acting like she doesn’t understand why somebody else might be.

So basically, after three seasons, it wouldn’t take much for Penelope to realize she’s in love with him the way he seems like he’s been in love with her for as long as he’s known her. She already cares deeply for him, seeks him out when she’s struggling, and makes him her partner in crime. Getting to a place where she wants to act on her feelings is a different issue entirely, and way more complicated for both of them…but as soon as she confirms that with Schneider she **does** spark, the pieces should fall into place.


	15. Alvareider Post-S3 Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the likelihood of canon Alvareider after season three, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182659080600/do-you-think-alveraider-still-has-a-chance-its)

_Do you think alveraider still has a chance?? It's ridiculous how this season made me ship them more just to destroy my hopes_

i think there’s always a chance!! because i live to have my hopes crushed. spoilers after the cut because i mostly vagueblogged until now but i am ready to dive into this:

so, if we’re being totally realistic and trying to read the intentions of the showrunners and writers? imo they saw the shipper energy that came from s1 and even harder after s2, and decided to course correct. 

the first two seasons were content with making schneider an honorary part of the family and pen’s best friend. now in s3 there’s an emphasis on making him an honorary **relative** , to make it suuuuuuper clear that he wants to be an alvarez not just because he loves them all but because he loves them like they’re related. 

it wouldn’t be a big deal if it wasn’t so noticeable because the first two seasons included nothing of the sort. schneider always loved lydia like the mother he needed and didn’t originally have, but in a way that could have easily translated to in-laws. the show had him be a sort of son to lydia and a sort of father figure to the kids…without labeling his dynamic with penelope.

this season apparently they decided a label was necessary, and i don’t see any reason for that except to try and make it oh-so-clear that they never intended for alvareider to be canon. 

HOWEVER, remember when i said i still have hope? 

this season included way more touches than the last, and i already thought s2 was heartwarmingly intimate. before one of her hugging attempts to comfort him, penelope holds on to schneider by the back of the neck! for a really long time and in a way that i have a hard time imagining platonic friends do!! that right there was shipper gold.

and in addition to schneider continuing to be the person that penelope goes to when she needs anything–and knowing that and telling people about it–we **finally** see the reverse, with penelope not only being willing to risk schneider’s backlash to try and save him from himself, but also being ready to Fight His Dad, to forgive him and be open to rebuilding trust…and mostly just being there for him. after two seasons of schneider being her person, i needed that.

now, giving schneider the most impossibly adorable girlfriend absolutely fucks with my need to ship alvareider. because todd and india are too cute not to love. i wanted to be rooting against them on principle but i just can’t. schneider deserves to be happy, and with her he is. do i think they had less screen time than i needed to buy him being so in love with her so easily? absolutely, when this is a guy who settled for nikki because he’s so damaged he insisted in s1 that love isn’t even real. but any schneider romance was never going to get a ton of screentime, and i know that. 

if the finale proved anything, though, especially by bringing max back just to (thankfully) brush him off again, it’s that penelope’s romantic future is wide open–and just because she found love before doesn’t mean it was meant to last. the same could happen with schneider and avery; they may have a happy s3 ending but we don’t know what s4 will bring.

so while i think the alvareider chances are slim, definitely slimmer than they seemed after s2, i think that because it seems like the writers were trying to send that message. and writers can change their plan.

i choose to believe that given more years of the show, they might do just that. because they absolutely laid groundwork this season that could evolve into foreshadowing for an alvareider endgame. i even liveblogged some of those moments, because they seemed to be leading that way so hardcore. _(you could even argue that they set the whole season up to get SOCLOSE to perfect shippy cliches multiple times before veering off in other directions, on purpose. which could be more reason to believe it’s possible down the road. i was waiting for a feelings confession two different times, and them at the wedding table together before avery showed up? a moment just begging for a romantic twist.)_

so in conclusion, if we’re using s3 as a gauge for our dreams coming true? odds are slim. but they’re not none because with tv anything is always possible…and i ship them even harder than i did before so that means something. 

in the meantime, i’ll be writing fic and making other alvareider stuff just as much as i ever did–cuz they can try to pretend it’s possible to write their chemistry out of existence but they can’t take that away from me. 


	16. Penelope's Body Language After Schneider's Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Penelope's nonverbal behavior with Schneider in her apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This post, including nine gifs breaking the scene down, is on my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613480435597656064/post-relapse-penelopes-hands-a-study-in-stellar)

because season four premieres tonight, it was time for me to finish this set i had in my drafts!! justina machado deserves all the emmys for her work as penelope alvarez and that’s true for lots of reasons, but i’m particularly obsessed with her body language in these scenes and how much you learn from it that she never has to say out loud. 

for starters, this is the most physically restrained and even awkward we’ve ever seen penelope be around schneider. throughout the entire show, she’s a very open person, free with affection and casual reaching out. in their very first scene together, she reaches out and pats his hand after she teases him, and she greets him at her dinner table by tapping his shoulders as she walks by, two episodes later. even before she considers him her best friend, she’s comfortable around him.

but thanks to her past with victor, she’s more than aware how volatile addicts can be, and also…schneider lied to her face. more than once. he was drinking while he was around her family, her kids. it’s not clear in the episode if she knows that he shoved alex, but either way, trust has been broken.

so much happens between the dialogue in these scenes when you narrow your focus to penelope. she watches in complete silence while the family rallies around him. she shifts out of the way when he walks past her. when he’s so close his shadow’s blocking the light, she can’t even look at him. there’s something deeply unsettling about watching resident badass penelope alvarez fix her eyes on the floor, making herself just a tiny bit smaller. 

she’s been through all this before. and even though lydia knows schneider well enough to check his pockets and alex was smart enough not to leave him in the laundry room…it’s probably penelope who’s most vividly reliving the times with victor when he seemed bad-but-not-that-bad, when he swore he saw the light now and was gonna get it together. she knows that schneider’s words to the family come too easily, that his first reaction to getting caught was to try to move the process of reconciliation along so he could go back to drinking in secret. 

i wonder if she had already planned to confront him alone, as soon as he disappeared from his apartment, or if she realized she was going to have to while she was standing there watching the others comfort and forgive him.

knowing how ‘reactive’ she can be, i can only imagine how hard it was for her to hold her tongue until she got everyone else out of the apartment. all that energy and emotion she’s keeping a tight grip on comes out in the shuffling of her feet as he passes between her and alex and the wringing of her hands while she waits to confront him.

that’s the only time when penelope lets herself go for a second–when she spins around, family safely away from the house, and makes it clear that she thinks he’s still downplaying what’s been going on. in that moment she’s gesturing as she talks, she’s letting herself show all the feelings she’s been holding back. 

but then when it’s schneider’s turn to talk? she pulls back again. this is the part that really kills me…her hands during his side of the conversation. schneider tells her what he was thinking when his relapse began, and you can watch her uncertainty, her hands going to her pockets and then moving away. he physically removes the symbol of his inclusion in her family from the hallway, and she pulls her hands from from where they were secured as she follows him, worried–but she doesn’t reach out to him.

in fact, the whole time they talk before sitting on the couch, she’s got her hands in her pockets or pressed flat against her jeans. which is unusual for her, and seems deliberate. she reached out for him after her anxiety attack, holding on while he hugged her, and she reached out to hold his hand while she talked to him about his father. reaching out for him that way is a different level of intimacy than they had in the first two seasons.

now, at this point in their relationship, it’s harder to hold back from him than it is to reach out. but she does, even while she listens to schneider explain and beat himself up. it’s only after he explains why he removed the chip, after he makes it clear **he** understands that the trust between them is broken–and he explains why it matters so much that he had earned that trust in the first place–that penelope physically relaxes a little.

she bends enough to tell him he hasn’t lost her family forever, that he can work to get what they had back, and they sit on the couch. now, she’s finally able to be close to him again, the way they usually are, without any real need for personal space. though she still keeps her hands pressed against her lap. 

when penelope finally does reach out, it’s to add emphasis to her insistence that he’s not alone, and that she believes in him. it’s an offering, rather than the kind of forgiveness the others gave him. 

the hug that follows is important to me because it’s the first time we’ve seen penelope be the safe harbor for schneider that he always is for her…but the gentle way she touches his neck is more important because it’s the first time she’s touched him at all since she found out about his relapse. it’s proof that she means what she says…that all hope is not lost. 

and that’s when schneider leans against her for the hug. accepting the offer. they’re having an entire wordless second conversation underneath the one they’re also having out loud, and as an autistic person to whom nonverbal communication doesn’t come naturally, watching the actors portray that so well is just amazing. 

‘you really fucked up,’ she tells him with that single touch, ‘but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve us anymore. keep trying. i’m here.’ 


	17. A Season Three Rant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the flaws in season three, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613485120015433728/i-would-love-to-hear-a-s3-rant-tbh)

_i would love to hear a s3 rant tbh_

i started writing this a few months after s3 came out, because i needed that long to sort of soak up all the feelings and changes that came along with it. now i’m used to it enough that i don’t find myself thinking too hard about s3 when i get to it in rewatches–it’s a shift, but one i’m adjusted to. and now it’s premiere day for s4! so i’m finally done writing the rest of it. 

it is a shift, though, and i think that’s why so many of us in the fandom had mixed feelings about it–we still loved it, but we didn’t come away from s3 with the same lingering mood that we did after s2. for me, s3 was the first season that ended on a truly happy note. there was no heartbroken elena at her quinces, there was no distraught family hoping lydia would wake up.

s3 left pretty much all the characters in a good, hopeful place, so why did we find ourselves more inclined to pick it apart? why did it feel different, when all the individual character arcs and plot points were in the same world we love, and clearly handled with the same amount of effort and care as we expect?

the following giant analysis is my attempt to articulate an answer to that, as a fan who has watched the whole show….so many times. so many times, guys. just so much. i don’t even have a number anymore.

to give you an idea of what you’re in for, here’s the categories you’ll find behind the cut:

  * _each season’s focus was different_
  * _brothers and other strangers_
  * _dr. b’s inclusion minimizing other relationships_
  * _schneider being more isolated from the family_
  * _schneider’s sobriety_
  * _schneider & avery_
  * _avery + other characters_
  * _penelope & mateo  
_
  * _misc other gripes_



feel free to reply to this and/or send me asks, i spent way too long on it. :)

##  **EACH SEASON’S FOCUS WAS DIFFERENT:**

obviously, odaat is an ensemble show. every character gets moments of their own, and most have larger arcs. but because the show needs a focus, each season arguably belongs more to some of the characters than others.

**_the stars of s1 are penelope and elena._ **

penelope is our anchor to the family and the story, the one that everything else orbits around. we’re watching her live through the end of her marriage and become more settled in her new role as the primary parent to her kids. elena is figuring out who she is, then dealing with the fallout from sharing her truth with the people who matter to her. her quinces is the topic of debate in 1.01 and closes out the season in 1.13.

lydia steals scenes a lot, but she doesn’t really have a larger arc in s1. at the end of the season, she’s the same person she was at the beginning, just changed by her involvement in elena and penelope’s stories. same goes for alex–he has stories, but they’re a lot smaller and more contained. and schneider and leslie are only involved in the season because of their friendships with lydia and penelope, then in schneider’s case, his dynamic with alex later on.

**_the stars of s2 are penelope and lydia._ **

penelope goes back to school, has her first serious relationship post-divorce, and finally deals more seriously with her mental health struggles. lydia decides to become a u.s. citizen, struggles with her feelings toward leslie, and ends the season triumphant after a major health scare.

elena plays a major role in s2, but a lot of her story is a continuation from s1, with the return of victor and her first romantic relationship, and developments like her new job as a handyma’am are awesome but not the central focus of the season. alex gets to be the star of a few episodes, more than in s1, but they’re not really tied in to an overarching arc. his first job, his anti-immigrant bullying, and his time at the movies with penelope are all standalone plots.

schneider has a larger, more serious role in s2, going from ‘you guys are like family’ during _quinces_ in s1 to ‘now, you’re my family’ to lydia in not yet. but he’s still on the outside, looking in. and leslie’s role remains one that supports penelope at work and lydia in friendship, rather than giving him his own plot.

**_the stars of s3 are alex and schneider._ **

in s3, penelope’s story is more settled, because so is she. her job is secure, her schoolwork is coming to a close, and her kids are growing up. she has a romance, but mateo is less important to her than max was, and the plot reflects that, with mateo barely around until penelope’s neglect of him becomes part of the joke. pen’s reacting to what’s going on around her more, whether that’s alex’s drug use or elena’s anxiety and secret hotel room or schneider’s sobriety.

that’s not a bad thing! justina kills it in every episode, penelope’s still funny and a tearjerker and strong as hell while flawed…but s3 is the first season that doesn’t completely revolve around her, storywise.

elena’s story is also more settled, on some levels. victor’s return gives her a much-deserved coda, evidence that her life couldn’t be neatly tied up in a bow after a year and that emotional scars do real damage. but even that plot, like her first time with syd and her driving lessons, are part of larger episodes involving other stories rather than the main focus of all of them. victor’s wedding, the finale episode, tries to move forward five of our six main characters, compared to elena’s quinces, which was almost exclusively her show.

lydia’s s3 plot includes her fabulous bouquet list, ideas about aging and motherhood and family. but she’s back to being a scene-stealer–even her bouquet list exists as a subplot in other people’s episodes.

having focused the most on the alvarez women in s1 and s2, the show finally gives alex more room to shine in s3, a development that surprised me but pleasantly so because it turns out that the more they give him to do, the better marcel is at it. s3 shows us an alex growing up, making dumb choices and learning from them, but also being there for his family in bigger and more mature ways, schneider included.

and schneider…gosh. schneider’s arc in s3 is so important that it’s the one they foreshadowed ominously before the season was even on netflix:

he did step into the spotlight as promised, and by the end of the season, he was a full-fledged canon member of the family. not that we needed them to tell us that, even if schneider did. :)

to start with, though, that’s part of why s3 feels different: because it is. the focus widens to different characters, and the ones we’re used to following more closely have more contained arcs.

##  **BROTHERS AND OTHER STRANGERS**

s3 also decided to introduce new family members. a LOT of new family members. and while they all added to the story, some fit in better than others. _the funeral_ did this well, finally giving lydia’s estranged sister a face to go with the name, and giving us more of a glimpse at the big family penelope grew up around before the military and parenting narrowed her everyday focus.

but the show’s decision to anchor an episode on brothers gave us what felt like a lot of consistency issues. they explained pen’s sudden s3 brother, tito, by making his absence during lydia’s coma a topic of discussion. they couldn’t actually include a never before mentioned sibling for penelope without creating bigger confusion, though. it just wasn’t possible.

tito is apparently the older brother that lydia idolizes, but until 3.04 she’s never mentioned him in conversation once? when she’s in a coma reflecting on her family and how they’ll go on without her, her beloved son isn’t worth a mention? i can forgive the show for deciding to give pen a brother three years in, but i can’t pretend it wasn’t jarring when odaat treated her like an only child before that.

and this is a much smaller issue, but also in s3 suddenly syd has a younger brother? who is homeschooled too? when they were telling elena their only classmate was their chinchilla the year before? like i said, a relatively small thing but it still bugs me because it’s so random.

schneider now has sibling(s) too, apparently, but his comment about not being his father’s favorite child was the first time that came up, in three years of him talking about his parents and household staff and childhood stressors. i have so many questions. hopefully future seasons will clarify some things.

anyway, _hermanos_ was a deeply confusing episode for me because tito came out of nowhere and schneider’s conversation with leslie, while lovely, was the first time we heard schneider (or anyone actually) label his relationship with penelope a sibling-ish one. it was clear during lydia’s coma that he considered lydia a friend who was also somewhat a maternal figure in his life, but it wasn’t until s3 that the show extended that dynamic, from ‘lydia is like his mom’ to ‘therefore he and pen are both her kids.’

i’ll get into this later, but i honestly think that was meant more to tie into the episode’s theme than because it was supposed to shift his friendship with penelope into new territory. we’re watching penelope deal with tito, and elena deal with alex, and schneider makes the one comment during an important scene with leslie. it’s still jarring though.

the very fact that schneider wasn’t with the family during their vacation felt like an inconsistency to a lot of us, whose two-seasons-worth of headcanons about schneider make ‘he secretly books the room next to theirs and crashes their vacation’ more believable than him staying home alone.

it was done in service to the season’s goals of adding tito to the mix and folding leslie in more, and both goals were accomplished…it just felt a little strange.

##  **DR B’S GREATER INCLUSION MINIMIZING OTHER RELATIONSHIPS**

speaking of leslie, s3 for him was what s2 gave schneider–more ties to more characters, and the first real subplots we’ve seen him have about serious subjects. for good or bad, a lot of what stood out to me in s3 as different was related to the show making more room for leslie.

schneider not being with the alvarezes on their vacation, even though he’s at every family event including funerals now? penelope made it happen by ‘entrusting’ schneider with the care of her house(plant), but really it played out that way so we could see schneider and leslie bond.

elena’s driving lessons being handled by leslie? it’s fair enough that penelope isn’t the one doing it, since she’s busy and it stresses her out, but if you want me to believe that schneider wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity, even with avery in his life now, you’re crazy. there’s no believable canon reason in s1 or s2 why leslie would be the one doing that, but it played out that way so we could see elena and leslie bond.

even alex gets to know leslie better because he’s more involved with elena, meaning that after s3 leslie finally has connections to the whole family (which schneider accomplished in s2 once he was mentoring elena in building repairs).

by the season finale, leslie is attending victor’s wedding, mistakenly butting in on elena’s time with her dad, and finally traveling to cuba with lydia while he shares his practice with penelope.

however you feel about s3 in general, the show had to change its usual dynamic in order to include leslie more in situations like driving lessons and weddings. it just wouldn’t have worked otherwise. for example, _the funeral_ at the beginning of s3 doesn’t involve him at all, because why would it? unlike schneider, he hasn’t spent a ton of time bonding with the extended alvarez family prior to s3. he’s involved in big moments because he’s close to lydia or penelope.

s3 is the first time we really see him get involved in the story just on his own merits. and that required less schneider in family moments, which paired nicely with the season’s other visible difference.

##  **SCHNEIDER BEING MORE ISOLATED FROM THE FAMILY**

the schneider we know and love from s2 would have offered to take over elena’s driving lessons as soon as he realized they were stressing pen out. he would have found an excuse to join them on vacation, and he would have been present when penelope realized elena was sneaking off to a hotel room with syd.

schneider prior to s3 was always around that way, witnessing threesome porn on alex’s laptop and picking up strangers at the airport for the quinces, making it easier for penelope to go to him when she needed advice or a hug. in s1, she may have started out getting his help as a last resort, but by late s2, she was often turning to him instead of her own family, or her support group. pen was reluctantly aware of his many hookups because she was at his apartment so much.

once avery’s in the picture, though, we see less of schneider in the family orbit, and it’s really not explained. penelope pulls him (literally) into alex’s drug storyline, but after that he’s mainly in other people’s storylines, like lydia wanting to teach penelope to cook, or alex spending too much on shoes.

even in _anxiety,_ schneider’s status as penelope’s most trusted person is one scene in an episode that shows how she interacts with everyone in her life, rather than the climax of it–the way his time with her is in _hello penelope._

beyond individual episodes, it’s the relationships that matter, and we just see a lot less of that with schneider and the family in s3. in s1 we saw him bonding with alex all the time, and in s2 schneider became more important to elena. but in s3…where is he?

alex goes to his apartment because penelope ordered him to, to get a lecture about reckless spending, and that’s the only one-on-one time we see them have before the laundry room in _drinking and driving_. are they still close? i’m assuming they are, because alex clearly still cares about him and vice versa, but whether it’s because alex is growing up or because schneider’s busier with his first real girlfriend, they’ve stopped hanging out.

i feel the same way about schneider and elena. her support of him when he relapses _(how amazing is it that elena is the first alvarez to use the word ‘love’ with schneider, when he’s been closer to lydia and penelope longer? i adore one gay cuban teenager)_ makes it clear that he’s still important to her, but even her building maintenance seems to be done alone now. the only solo conversations they even have are at the funeral, in the very beginning of the season.

and while schneider and penelope remain friends in s3, the nature of their friendship has changed in a lot of ways. she’s at his apartment less, he’s at hers mostly when the whole family is around, and until his father’s visit they’re less close physically along with everything else.

schneider’s absence in big moments like elena learning to drive or smaller ones like a rare family vacation can be explained as storytelling choices, but they also make it easier to understand how he started drinking again, and how it was possible for him to keep it hidden (along with his avery breakup) before victor noticed.

when penelope went off her meds, schneider was the first person to confront her about her unusual behavior, but penelope doesn’t see the change in him until she’s looking for it. some of that is the show arguing that alcoholics are really good at covering their secrets up, but it also only works because though schneider is making appearances at meals and still involved with family, he’s around a lot less than he used to be.

##  **SCHNEIDER’S SOBRIETY**

deciding to dive into schneider’s sobriety was **the** defining choice of s3, in my opinion, that made it feel so different. if i had to pick just one, that would be it, because so much else spiderwebs out from it. 

finally seeing more of the world schneider comes from, in the arrival of his father? a major relapse trigger for him.

penelope telling him that choosing his father over his tenants means he’s not part of their family? seemingly the last thing she said to him before he drank.

his inclusion in the alvarez family museum? a way to show how his sobriety is the most impressive work he’s done in his whole life. 

penelope (and the rest of the family, but especially penelope, once they’re alone) doing whatever they can to support him and convince him to keep fighting? the clearest sign we’ve had in three season of how important schneider really is to them.

it’s an amazing story arc for him, and as much as it hurts to watch, i love it. 

but **boy** does it make season three a change from the first two.

after first setting up how proud of him dr b. and lydia are (the closest thing he has to loving parents) for his years of sobriety, we then see him tempted to drink thanks to his father’s actions and just general presence. 

but because of how the show handles the reveal, we actually don’t know for sure that he’s drinking again until penelope and lydia confirm it. we can be rightly suspicious–i saw that the dangling tag was no longer on the bottle when he placed it on his coffee table, and assumed then that he’d already opened it–but we can’t know.

which means that for the first time, just like penelope, we don’t know if we can trust schneider. schneider! who has wanted nothing more than to earn and keep the family’s trust this whole time. 

it’s so unsettling. as is his visible unraveling once he realizes he’s been caught. 

and the thing is, that we’ve seen this before, just like penelope has lived it before–the worst of her fights and fear with victor happened offscreen, but when he comes back we see him lie to her, try to convince her he can handle his own problems and she should leave it alone. 

but that…that was season one. that was victor, who moved in and out of the picture often in really hurtful ways, and who we weren’t encouraged to get attached to. 

schneider is lovable, and loving, and present. and yet in season three, he also becomes a version of himself who is reactive, and dishonest, and will do whatever it takes to avoid being confronted about his relapse. including trying to hurt and push away the people he loves most.

i think part of why his relapse is so effective as an arc is because it’s as hard for the viewers to expect such a sharp turn from the sweet, laid-back guy we met in s1 as it is for penelope and her family. but that’s also why s3 leaves us shaken.

##  **SCHNEIDER & AVERY**

oh gosh, schneider and avery. i’ve [talked](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183539738900/i-feel-bad-for-not-caring-about-avery-and) about [them](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/183550230545/bethanyactually-replied-to-your-post-i-feel-bad) a lot [before](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613291195833155584/okay-going-on-a-bit-of-a-schneider-x-avery-rant), so i’ll just say here that they brought her in with great potential, then let her stay so far on the sidelines of the show after the valentine’s day episode that it became impossible to know who she was anymore, what role she played in his life, and what their future could possibly look like now that they were reunited at the wedding. 

is she the gorgeous nerdy artist who has just enough in common with him to be a good fit long-term? is she rich and more suited to the world he comes from? is she uninterested in his life outside of what they do for fun together, so that she’ll never get to know his chosen family at all?

it seemed to change each time we saw her, and by the end of her involvement in schneider’s s3 storyline, we didn’t even know what had broken them up before we were supposed to be rooting for them to get back together. 

my theory continues to be that the people making the show were blinded by the impossible cuteness of real life marrieds todd and india, and forgot to make sure their plot threads on the show made sense. 

because avery was never going to get a ton of screen time, she was a minor character–but revolving any part of his story around her kind of gave the show a duty to at least give us a clue of what the heck was going on.

##  **AVERY + OTHER CHARACTERS**

my other major complaint about avery (who i genuinely adored, at least for her first couple of episodes! my liveblog of her existence in s3 is just a lot of flailing about her being so freaking cute) is that the show keeps her in a totally unprecedented bubble.

penelope’s love interests? always interact with her family. whether it’s ben getting a text from lydia, because he wasn’t around long enough for more, mateo joining an unexpected party, or max spending whatever time he could at her house…we always got to know how her guys related to her family, and that helped us understand them and the relationships better. 

syd of course spends a ton of time around elena’s family, and we’re going to see alex’s girlfriend meet the family this season. you could argue that those comparisons are different because schneider’s not one of them, his storylines are less central than say, penelope’s are–and that’s true. but even dr. b’s girlfriend got a long bathroom scene with lydia and we see/know much less about leslie than we do schneider. 

mostly though, this bugs me because avery clearly spends time in their home! she’s there for valentine’s day, and penelope also tells schneider to invite her during ‘the man.’ and she works at the kids’ school, so she’s in their orbit on another level. penelope is able to get in touch with her and find out they broke up.

and yet, the first real love interest for schneider that could be a healthy and serious relationship…and onscreen, lydia never meets her. doesn’t try to figure out if she’s good enough for the adopted son lydia has been encouraging to find love for three years. they never interact. 

elena, who developed a serious interest in alex’s love life and a taste for gossip in season one, appears to have no interest in the woman schneider’s seeing. alex, i could understand not caring, because he’s generally happier caring about what directly affects him and what he can do to help others…if schneider’s happy, i get why he might stay out of it. 

but it just sort of grates on me that none of the women in schneider’s family have a conversation with avery onscreen, beyond the moment when penelope is trying to kick her and schneider out and she pushes back. if avery is in a scene, she’s talking to and focused on schneider, or nikki, or schneider’s father. none of the family. is that because she doesn’t feel like she has to make an effort to know them? or because the show just wasn’t thinking about that? even though we see it with every other love interest brought into the house?

i mean, when you pay attention to that, then of course we don’t have a clear sense of who she is! how can we when there’s no reason to believe that anyone who cares about schneider does either? 

##  **PENELOPE & MATEO**

penelope’s relationship with mateo puzzles me almost as much as schneider and avery–and in some ways, even more. we see their friendship first, we watch them deny interest in more than that with each other. then penelope pushes the issue and they do decide to date, but just like with avery, the show doesn’t have a lot of screentime to offer him. 

so what we know about her new boyfriend is that they have some things in common that she really values but maybe too much in common to avoid fighting about it–and then we barely see him again, learning mainly through his absence that she’s just not that into him, until eventually they break up because it turns out he was more into his ex than her anyway.

there’s a karmic sort of humor in that for penelope, but for me it left mateo feeling like a waste of a love interest. we really didn’t get to enjoy their relationship much, especially if they wanted us to miss it when it was gone…so was it worth the time they spent setting it up in the first place? 

for me the answer to that was no. especially since as her ‘longtime’ school volunteer buddy, we’d never seen him before. and i feel like it’s not likely we’ll see him again.

##  **PENELOPE & SCHNEIDER**

this is a frustrating one for me because while i have complaints about these two and their relationship in s3 it was also AMAZING and i LOVED it. both are true.

the confusing part is that their dynamic is inconsistent in s3. think some of that is because the show is trying to do so much at once. fully bring schneider into the family, focus their romantic lives on other people, deepen their bond, deny the possibility of a romance between them, keep them each other’s person.

in s1 they’re landlord and tenant but also becoming real friends. in s2 they’re best friends and he’s a honorary part of the family now (though still an outsider). 

but in s3 he’s established clearly as her best friend and most trusted person, a guy who’s become deeply important to her and her whole family–so much so that after his relapse, they come together to support him much like they all did lydia in s2. 

but penelope treats him dramatically differently from moment to moment and episode to episode in s3. like an annoying brother when he’s getting cooking lessons from her mom, like a life partner when alex’s behavior has her angry and scared, like a bff when she’s considering dating mateo, and even a little like a flirting companion at the wedding.

it’s not completely unprecedented for their dynamic to have multiple layers. his relationship with lydia is complicated too. in past seasons, he flirted with both penelope and her mom–while they also laughed at victor calling them a couple and he told comatose lydia how important her mothering was to him. 

but they lean harder into it during lydia’s cooking lessons, while still hitting the beats hard of ‘are you sure you’re not dating?’ during penelope’s support group and schneider’s dad’s visit. the contrasting takes on their friendship is just a lot of whiplash in a single season.

another thing about s3 that’s different is the kinds of physical contact between penelope and schneider. you might not notice unless you’re looking for it, but penelope actually touches schneider more than he does her. lightly, casually, briefly. she makes contact in a friendly, familiar way all the time. schneider is more likely to touch her when it’s important, in big moments, as though he knows that she trusts him and welcomes him in her space but he doesn’t want to abuse the privilege.

i studied it for making gifsets, and she touches him more every season. and while he touches her a lot more in s2 than in s1, s3 is actually about the same amount. penelope grew visibly closer to him this season, but he held himself back from getting any more familiar. he was also the only one of the two of them who compared her to blood family. for now,it’s really up to interpretation if there’s a deeper reasoning behind that.

for both of them, though, more than half of the physical contact they make in s3 happens in just two episodes, both towards the end of the season. not only does schneider’s father’s visit and his relapse bring them closer together, literally and physically, but the season up until that point has them further apart. 

they spend time together stalking alex, or with schneider talking her down from her panic, but the casual dinners are less, and she’s going to him less for advice–which means there are less small touches, less moments where schneider sits her down on his couch or she nudges him affectionately. 

that makes it all the more intense when they do connect, with penelope holding his hand and them hugging twice all within the same few minutes. and then after his relapse, their conversation alone in the apartment is so tense and so much more separate than they usually are.

the last time she touched him was in the man, the most open and complimentary she’s ever been, and look what happened. this isn’t the man she knows and loves, she needs to reach her best friend who’s still in there somewhere under all the pain and self-loathing, but she tries to do so with honesty first, with bluntness, with tough love, with listening kindly but not without pushing back, and finally with his place in her family–as a role model for the kids. 

only once he’s agreeing with her about the course of action and just doubting his ability to survive it does she reach out. once he’s himself again. and then she’s more there for him physically than she ever has been before. this is a new level of intimacy between them, schneider letting her in rather than excusing himself during tough times, her giving rather than just taking support, her being his silent rock the way he always is hers.

it’s just **different** than the previous seasons, between them. the problem is that while you’re watching it, it’s hard to pin down what message about their relationship the show is trying to send, since they touch less but more deliberately, and they’re family but not in a way that has well-defined boundaries.

##  **MISC OTHER GRIPES**

_**elena’s world shrinking** _

as of s3, what exactly is elena’s life outside of syd and anxiety? don’t get me wrong, i love her relationship with syd, and the anxiety plot was good–driving lessons too, which were tied to the anxiety somewhat. 

but if we’re pulling back to look at the bigger picture, elena in season one was a lonely club leader, figuring out her identity, and navigating disagreements with her family. 

elena in season two was experiencing her first relationship, finding her first group of geeky friends to hang out with irl, confronting the fallout of victor’s behavior in s1, and continuing her academic hard work while also adding lots of political engagement.

in comparison, elena in season three exchanges ‘i love yous’ and has sex for the first time, as well as makes up with syd after their first fight. she learns she has anxiety and gets her driver’s license and continues to heal her relationship with victor, but…she has no friends anymore? no mention of josh or carmen or any of the echo park gamers? and she’s studying for testing, it seemed like, but she’s not in clubs anymore or volunteering or protesting? her whole world outside her family isn’t really syd, is it?? because i know first love is amazing, but that’s not healthy.

i said up there that less of the story belongs to elena after s1, and this is a large part of why i feel that way. the show treats her like some of her bigger arcs are settling down, rather than expanding, giving her subplots instead and making room for the other characters. it’s weird to watch though when just a quick comment here and there would have implied that she still spends time with friends or fellow social justice warriors.

_**lydia’s humor goes dark** _

when it comes to lydia, season one includes some jokes about her ending up in a home–or to be more specific, the fact that she never will. her comedy in season two revolves a lot around her identity, with her decision to become a citizen. 

and then, we go into season three after her coma. though she appears to be in good health, the family is still worried, and elena especially tries to protect her from herself.

whether it’s specifically related to her near-death experience or not, season three involves way more death jokes. things like lydia looking up, and inviting god to reunite her with her husband ‘berto, i am ready,’ she says, then sort of shrugs when death doesn’t arrive. 

it’s not unfunny…but it’s a different kind of humor. i can’t say i enjoyed the edge to it, probably because i was elena’s age when my grandmother died, and she was also a deeply religious woman who was awaiting her invitation to heaven. 

**_alex also has no friends anymore? does he still play baseball?_ **

the way that s3 gives alex so much more to do, storywise, is awesome. but just like elena, his world seems to have gotten smaller in terms of socializing. we hear about his girlfriend but don’t meet her, and we never see him interact with friends, either–besides things like instagram. 

this one’s really a minor complaint because he has whole important storylines in s3 and at least the show does imply he still has friends…but it’s a little odd for the most popular alvarez teen to spend more time chatting with dr. berkowitz than any friends his own age. especially when he used to be so involved in baseball that we at least saw his teammates. 

it’s not clear to me if season three just didn’t overlap with sports season for him this time around, or if he gave baseball up–but if it were the latter, you’d think they would mention that.

**_scott came back but not lori_ **

i honestly don’t know which of the show’s casting choices are influenced by availability and which are choices they make for plots they want–other than carmen leaving, because i know ariela went to another show.

but while lori hasn’t been around since season one, scott went missing after the second episode of season two…and then appeared in the second episode of season three before never showing up in the rest of the season. 

there’s no continuity problem with this or anything–i just don’t like scott and wish that if they were only going to keep one of pen’s coworkers, it would’ve been lori. i know that wouldn’t have let him do what they were able to with scott. but still.

**_max came back why?_ **

i like max, for the record. he’s been my favorite of all penelope’s love interests so far, and i felt bad for them both when they broke up. but in terms of the finale, it felt really jarring the way they included his little appearance. 

in that one scene, the show managed to remind us that they truly loved each other, genuinely supported and cared for each other, had common background and went back a long time as friends–and that out of all the men penelope had been with, he was the one she was still hurting over.

and then he left, as easily as he appeared. 

besides reminding us that her major relationship in s2 was with max, what did that scene accomplish? it didn’t feel like closure, because it didn’t add anything to their original breakup. but it also didn’t change anything about how they ended–he remained someone she wasn’t going to be with, even though they loved each other a lot. 

the only explanation i can think of is that the show wanted to work with the actor again. because if their goal was to confirm that yes, she and max really were great together even though she wasn’t going to be with him…we didn’t need more confirmation of that. we got the message in s2. ed quinn is great though.


	18. Why Alvareider Was Even Stronger In S3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on why there's still canon potential and hope for Alvareider after season three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182713908510/rewatching-one-day-at-a-time-s3)

# REWATCHING ONE DAY AT A TIME S3

## OR HOW I LOOKED BEYOND THE SURFACE AND FOUND HOPE

so i watched the new season all at once, right after it arrived on netflix, and i was really confused by the way the show’s text seemed to be trying to take penelope and schneider from bffs with a hint of future romantic potential to bffs who are practically siblings…while simultaneously creating the most blatant subtext and romantic parallels. it made me feel crazy, like i couldn’t tell how much was my alvareider-shipping heart projecting, or how much was sheer coincidence when it shouldn’t be possible for one season to have so. many. coincidences. 

for the record, a lot of this endless essay has already been mentioned by other awesome people. i just needed to piece it all together and dive into the details myself, now that i’m watching it for the second time and rethinking everything. 

or specifically, three things: the sibling emphasis, the parallels, and the body language. 

##  **1.**

that _‘schneider’s part of the family now and so he and penelope are related’_ emphasis that freaked me out? it comes from three moments, and all of those originate from schneider. he refers to penelope as his ‘much older sister’ when he’s having an emotional moment with leslie and joking his way through it, he refers to lydia as their shared momwhen he defends her to penelope after lydia teaches him to cook, and he calls penelope ‘sis’ when he’s sending her soothing text messages. 

in the first instance, penelope’s not there to have an opinion, and there’s no real reason for schneider to have even brought her up in the conversation about him and leslie. either he has her in his head even when she’s not around, he’s feeling especially defensive about her place in his life, or both. you could easily make the case that he’s protesting too much, that he’s slotted her into the sibling space in his head and is fighting the fact that she’s not staying where he put her, as though mentioning it randomly to other people will make it true. 

and in the second instance, penelope is there, and she doesn’t agree with him. in fact she’s annoyed at lydia treating him like a son. s3 involves a lot of tension when it comes to penelope and schneider’s place in her family, for that matter–more than in s2. in the s2 opening, elena reminds schneider that he’s not part of their family, and he protests her ‘joke’ as though it’s a given that he is. in 3x03, schneider refers to himself as a DILF, and it’s penelope who argues that he’s not a dad. he doesn’t protest at all, even though he’s the one who clearly thinks of himself that way or he wouldn’t have said it. instead, in response to her additional jab that he’s also not sexworthy, he replies immediately that he understands and will help her get the guy she **does** like. 

a few episodes later, schneider tells alex that penelope is increasingly relying on him as a ‘co-parent,’ making it clear that he either believes that is his role, despite what penelope says…or that he just really wishes it were true instead of her keeping him at a distance. after all, he fills in with her kids in a parental role a lot, and nobody ever has any sort of protest about what it means except her (and their absentee father). 

in the third instance he’s talking privately to penelope, and in the aftermath of a panic attack she’s got other things to care about so she doesn’t react to that at all. but her lack of reaction makes it seem like he may have called her ‘sis’ before, probably a lot in their frequent messaging, and the fact that he’s doing it via text makes it seem way more likely that he’s using it as slang, not acting his age. which is to say that there’s a really high probability that he means it in a close friend way rather than literally.

because this season is nothing but ups and downs, from friends who are family to a growing distance again, after that is when the worst moment between them in canon so far hits. during the condo argument, penelope doesn’t just insult him personally, like she did in s2 when she was off her meds. before kicking him out, the first time she ever has out of anger, penelope tells him that no matter how hard he tries to be part of her family, he still isn’t. that he can’t be, not really. unlike in s2, when he holds his feelings back and retreats voluntarily, during this fight schneider tries to argue. he pushes back, visibly upset, but leaves when she insists. once again, penelope’s the only alvarez who feels the need to set him apart from being a full member of her family in s3. alex and lydia openly adopt him, and even elena tells him she loves him, that they all do, after he relapses.

the interesting contrast between penelope and schneider is that never, not even when they’re clearly closer in s3, does penelope say anything remotely similar to ‘schneider’s like my brother!’ on the contrary, penelope’s the only one of the two of them who’s admitted that there’s attraction between them. 

schneider offered to have sex with her early on, because for him casual sex fell within the boundaries of what’s allowed between friends. and while he compliments her often, it’s always in a very matter of fact, not suggestive way. he sees her as gorgeous and sexy and talented and nurturing and assumes she knows those things are true, too, so he can mention them to her without penelope thinking he’s hitting on her. he also maintains the boundaries between them faithfully, physically affectionate with her but always following her lead, taking it slow with hugs or letting her reach out first.

it’s schneider who emphasizes the way that penelope is family to him, because her whole **family** is family to him…and he worked hard to make that true. it’s the most important thing in his life. never is that clearer than in s3, when he tells lydia that being accepted by them makes him even prouder than his sobriety. and conversely, when he thinks he’s losing them, because penelope kicks him out and swears he can never really belong, that’s when it seems he has his first drink in eight years. being a part of penelope’s family is so important to him that risking it is a bigger stressor than even his father; it’s no wonder he has to see penelope as family first and as far from romantically or sexually available as possible. by s3 he’s too invested to be open to anything else.

##  **2.**

the parallels in s3 start early. both penelope and schneider embark on tentative new relationships in 3x03 with people who are a lot like them. while penelope’s hesitant to date mateo until he shows his strength, schneider falls before even finding out how similar to him avery truly is. imo the similarities are the point, and they both need to learn things from their s3 relationships that they never have before. 

penelope’s two previous big relationships ended over irreconcilable differences: victor wasn’t safe and max had different dreams. in mateo, she finds someone she’s got a lot in common with, all the same values, and no major breaking points. but even though that’s so different from her last two almost-happy endings, it’s not enough. she tries to talk herself into being attracted to and caring about him, but their friendship is really all that’s there.

schneider has actually never had a big relationship before: he had a toxic, sporadic affair with nikki that he kept falling into, but nothing serious and involving real effort. avery came along, uncomplicated and from his world and they clicked, and it was new for him. the fact that he couldn’t bounce back when it ended makes sense–she was his first loving, reciprocated relationship. the fact that he wanted nothing but to make it work when they got a second chance also makes sense, and is a good thing…it was absolutely his time to learn how to make a relationship work and to realize he’s worth loving. but because they don’t have that trusting foundation and possibly because avery’s background was as pampered as his, they broke really easily under the strain of his relapse, and i’m not sure that bodes well for them the next time things get rough. 

the truth is, schneider’s right when he tells penelope that she’s the only one who ever completely trusted him while knowing exactly who he is. that’s why she’s the one who stays when he starts drinking again, and insists on being there through his recovery. penelope promises him she’s not going anywhere, because their history and foundation can survive more. when you remember her history with victor, and the way she pushed him away when it became clear that he wasn’t sober, it’s even more powerful that she’s firm with schneider but never considers trying to banish him from her life or her family. she trusts that he will try again, unlike her own husband. she pulls him closer, literally, instead.

and of course, it’s not just their new significant others that bring sharp parallels in s3: it’s other people’s partners too! and their own relatives! and their friends!

bringing victor back doesn’t just give elena the closure she needs and deserves; it also offers up two of the most important moments that seem to be pointing giant neon arrows at foreshadowing for alvareider. first, nicole tells a jealous penelope about how she knows victor is the one for her…and it makes penelope realize that she doesn’t wish victor were with her–she just wishes that mateo were that guy in her own life. but he isn’t, and she goes to dump him, and it’s hard to ignore the fact that every attribute in nicole’s speech exists in the way has schneider treated penelope for the last three years.

additionally, alex toasts victor at his wedding with a speech that could easily apply to schneider after he relapses, talking about how he found love as a result of getting his life back together. in a season that so heavily focuses on schneider’s journey, it’s impossible not to want the same for him.

when schneider faces his father for the last time and finally stands up to him, performing the same kind of toughness that penelope needed to see in mateo before she could consider him more than a friend…her reaction is even more intense than it was with mateo. she’s amazed and happy for him and really excited. she’s so stunned she doesn’t even notice that he’s not quite himself.

after penelope realizes he is in fact drinking again, her first attempt to get through to him doesn’t work and he escapes his own apartment. but it’s telling that when he starts to get defensive and upset, she explains by saying she ‘went through this with victor.’ no qualifiers, no acknowledgement that it was different dealing with victor because that was her husband and schneider’s just a guy she’s friends with. instead, a simple comparison between watching the father of her children, the man she loved, struggle and get worse and then seeing it happen to schneider.

and in the most obvious, pointed parallel of them all, when penelope is still dating mateo and discussing her anxiety in her support group, pam points out that she doesn’t seem to lean on mateo when she needs help with it. her immediate response to that is that when she does lean on anyone, it’s schneider. 

##  **3.**

there’s a lot more physical contact between penelope and schneider this season. just, so much more. and even more importantly, the nature of it is different.

their first hug happens early on, when penelope is worried about alex and schneider reassures her. he hugs her from the side, and it’s pretty identical to the times when he did in s2: just his arm around her, close but not too close, friendly and sweet. 

their second hug is in response to one of her anxiety attacks, after he helps calm her down. he hugs her like always, but then penelope turns her face further into his chest and reaches out for him. she reaches her hand out to his free arm, hesitates, then makes contact and holds on, while he wraps that hand around her in return, holding her tighter. it’s the first time we’ve seen her cross that tiny but distinctive line, compared to their s2 hug when she admits he’s her best friend…in that scene she reaches across him similarly, as though she wants to grip onto his shirt while he’s hugging her, but she stops herself and pulls back. 

after the worst fight they’ve ever had in their relationship so far? penelope reassures him that they’ll be okay, and then reaches for his hand while she tells him she likes him just as he is. schneider goes from letting her hand curl around his to gripping back in the next shot, just…holding hands with her while she’s nicer to him than she’s ever been in three years. and then he doesn’t just hug her. they hug each other, turning inwards for a full hug rather than the arm-around-her-shoulder that was schneider’s default the year before. they’re holding on to each other when schneider’s father comes out, and schneider keeps his hand on her shoulder for a moment even after they let go. 

once his father leaves, she thanks him emotionally for the choice he made, and dives into another hug. standing up, it’s them hugging each other again, chest to chest the way they never were in s2 even during lydia’s coma.

and once schneider’s drinking has come out and penelope has confronted him without anyone else around, where she can be painfully honest and so can he…she rubs his back and then keeps her hand there; she strokes the nape of his neck and then holds on; she shifts when he leans into her for a hug so that he can rest against her fully, and she keeps him there. it’s the first time we see penelope offering schneider support and comfort that way (and it’s exactly what i’ve wanted since s2 when he continued to do so for her all the time). 

off the top of my currently sleep-deprived brain, i remember two hugs between them in s1, if you include the whole family on the dance floor–which i do because of the way schneider rests his cheek against penelope’s head. and there are three between them in s2, two that happen in the same “hello penelope” scene. 

so even before you add in the handholding and back and neck rubbing things that never happened before, s3 has more physical affection between penelope and schneider than the previous two combined. 

either they’ve become super hands-on platonic friends since the previous year without feeling the need to address it, the actors are so comfortable with each other that they brought that into their roles more than was intended and the showrunners for some reason just went with it…or all those small monumental acting choices are meant to add up and continue deepening their relationship in ways that could lead somewhere else someday. 

in that light, it’s really not any crazier to think the show’s heading toward romance than it is to insist that actually the past two seasons were never meant to pack such a punch and they’re just like siblings now. since the mixed signals don’t make much sense in s3 for a show that’s usually so carefully crafted, i choose to believe they know what they’re doing…and if that’s true, then all the parallels and intense intimacy and more complex interactions around schneider being family are there on purpose.

**tl;dr penelope and schneider are soulmates and if odaat is determined to make sure that’s not true the show itself can fight me because i’m right**


	19. Elena and Schneider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Elena and Schneider, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/613391755460608000/your-opinion-on-elena-and-schneiders)

_Your opinion on Elena and Schneider’s relationship! :)_

## OH, YOU MEAN THESE TWO?

## ADORE THEM.

she spends three seasons pretending he’s this annoying interloper bothering her family, only to be the one character during his relapse who says the words ‘we love you.’ 

he tries to keep her out of dangerous unsupervised boy situations, advocates for her with her mom once she’s out of the closet–keeping his awareness of it from her mom until she tells pen herself–and flies her best friend secretly in for her _quinces._

he also throws himself into any other element of her _quinces_ that he can help with, goes looking for her father when victor abandons her DURING it, and then spends s2 giving her a new place to focus some of her time and energy on with the handymaam job–not just tangible skills to learn, but also a way to connect better with people.

in other words, while she’s struggling to deal with being rejected by her father, schneider is there every step of the way as a dependable male presence in her life to support her and make her feel not just loved for who she is but CAPABLE. worth something. i think we should talk about that more, what a generous and kind act that was on schneider’s part, and how he accomplished it while making it seem mainly for his own benefit. 

my other opinion on these two is that season three owed them better!! they have so few scenes together, it’s criminal. and any just universe would have had him and dr. b splitting up elena’s driving lessons, the same way they decided to share apartment-sitting, rather than acting like it made sense for schneider to be completely uninvolved. 


	20. Schneider and Lydia's Coma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Schneider's bond with Lydia and his hospital visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182918275430/every-time-i-rewatch-not-yet-it-hits-me-all-over)

Every time I rewatch “Not Yet” it hits me all over again how much Schneider loves Lydia, in a way that hurts my heart. I believe he means it, when he has to flee the hospital because it’s just too much for him, and he’s not going to be able to put on the brave face Penelope expects.

But he comes back. 

And while he was gone, realizing that he couldn’t stay away because Lydia is the person who’s ever loved him best in his life and who helped him finally stay sober for years, Schneider didn’t just decide to rejoin her family around her bedside. 

He thought about what Lydia might need and what she would want to see when she woke up, and he packed up supplies and he worked to make that happen, rules and rationality be damned.

It makes me think about what it must have been like for her, to love this young man enough to go hunt him down in rehab, and promise him he could do better, and let him into her life. It makes me think about how much she adores her son, who she never sees, and how much she misses her husband every day, and how maybe that had something to do with why she needed to look after Schneider. 

So in her hospital room he jokes about changing his name to Alvarez, and it’s sweet and funny and a little silly, like him. But not so long after, Lydia puts him in the Alvarez museum. And then she pays him the highest compliment by telling Avery that he IS one of them now. 

It breaks my heart right open knowing how much that means to him and how it all had to come from Lydia, all along, because while Penelope trusted him and is the gatekeeper to the kids…Lydia was his family first.

And nobody has ever needed and deserved a loving family more than Schneider.


	21. Schneider, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and Autism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on how Schneider's traits compare to autism, ADHD and bipolar disorder, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182825773815/i-know-you-mentioned-how-you-feel-when-you-see)

_I know you mentioned how you feel when you see people write characters having bipolar disorder or autism who don't know what it's like, so I'd love to ask your POV on this: Do you think Schneider exhibits any signs of being bipolar or having autism? A few characteristics of his remind me of a family member who is bipolar, but as someone who personally isn't and admittedly doesn't know a ton about bipolar disorder or autism, I'd love to know your thoughts instead of having uninformed headcanons._

Ooh I love this question!! Thanks for thinking of me to ask it. My answer got longer than expected, surprise surprise, so it’s an essay behind the cut now. :)

I also love Schneider and find him easier to understand and write than just about anybody, so I feel pretty comfortable getting inside his head and musing about all this. 

For the record as to where I’m coming from here, I am autistic and have bipolar disorder (bipolar 1 technically), and I also have combined-type ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder (I’m quite something). 

I’ve never seen anyone connect Schneider to autistic traits before, and I’m generally thrilled to headcanon my faves as on the spectrum, so I had to think about this. He definitely has interests, but I wouldn’t say he has an intense focus on any specific things in that autistic way. He makes eye contact easily and a lot, and off the top of my head I don’t remember him making any comments that would indicate sensory issues (about noise or clothing texture, for example). He doesn’t seem stuck to specific routines, and his diet is eclectic but not rigid.

He does seem pretty oblivious to social cues? But in an overeager, he steamrolls right past them kind of way…and he often immediately corrects himself when his words come out offensive, because he can tell the difference between what people think it’s okay to say or not. He likes puzzles and mechanical things, but so do lots of neurotypical people. His voice is very expressive, not a monotone, and he’s very comfortable with physical affection.

Honestly, every autistic person is different so it’s totally possible to be on the spectrum and not have some of the ‘usual’ traits (for example, I don’t make much eye contact and am blatantly autistic in a lot of ways, but I’m very comfortable in crowds and loud days like the 4th of July don’t bother me). But I don’t see much canon evidence for Schneider being autistic that isn’t better explained by him having a serious case of ADHD. 

That’s the stuff that he and I have in common, as a matter of fact…he has a billion hobbies and is overenthusiastic and full of energy and impulsive, and he’s often mentally and emotionally moving so fast that he doesn’t even notice he’s pushed past people’s personal boundaries. Trying to be Victor’s best man or inviting himself over to the Alvarez apartment all the time is never because Schneider doesn’t care that they may not want him involved–he’s just so excited to be a part of things that he doesn’t stop and think first, and that’s super ADHD of him.

Now the bipolar question is such a fun one for me! I feel like bipolar people who don’t end up violent or committed are waaaay underrepresented in media, and I tend to see those traits everywhere. Some of my favorite characters I love because they remind me of me, and could definitely be coded bipolar.

It’s really common for bipolar people to struggle with addiction, which obviously Schneider does. I don’t have that history personally, but I completely understand the way bipolar people can use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate the symptoms of the disorder. 

They can also go through periods where they turn to sex in an unusually intense way, and we know Schneider’s a big fan of sex, but I wouldn’t say he’s presented as being unusual with it…just as a guy who likes casual sex and is able to find willing partners.

Schneider does have a proven record of not only gambling but impulsive spending, both bipolar traits. He sees most of his problems as just being different forms of addiction, but that makes sense for him–and I’ve read about people whose bipolar behavior was masked by their addictions until they got sober.

So if we look at him sober, then the question is, does he go through periods of depression and mania that are bad enough it interferes with his life? And I can’t say that I see any major signs of that. He’s weird but has a decent grip on reality, he doesn’t hit patches where he thinks he’s invulnerable and capable of everything, and if he faces major depression, it’s never come up when the show has discussed Penelope’s experience with it. 

To me, Schneider just seems like he’s living with ADHD that was never treated, and he’s been an addict since he was very young…and his seriously addictive personality is always looking for new outlets even while he tries to stay sober from drugs and alcohol.

BUT I have to add that I’m bipolar and while my depression looks pretty much like you probably would expect when you think ‘depression’…my mania doesn’t fit the ‘standard’ tells at all. I’ve never had a problem with gambling or shopping. I’ve never had reckless, casual, or unusually frequent sex. I’ve never tried drugs (which is good! because addiction runs in my family) because I’m weird and somehow I always feel much safer in the harshness of reality.

So my mania looks like skipping meals and not needing to sleep and having the most brilliant ideas, all of which will absolutely work out this time, and because I’m not getting any kind of treatment for my ADHD, manic me is the only version of me that’s able to channel my energy into successfully creating anything–it’s like mania balances the unfocused part of my brain. If I can stay mildly manic, I’m actually in a pretty good place…but of course if I had control over it, it wouldn’t be a potentially dangerous disorder.

Point is, is it possible Schneider has a form of bipolar disorder combined with his addictions? Sure, if it presents atypically or is milder than my experience and thus easier for him to function through. It’s definitely possible that he’s always struggled with intense moods and used to ‘treat’ them with drugs and alcohol, and now that he’s sober uses his hobbies and mindfulness to manage them instead. And of course, if we really want to headcanon things outside canon, we could say he’s totally bipolar but on medication for it so he’s fairly stable. 

But since you asked me :) I would say he’s got adult ADHD to a highly visible degree, and had an emotionally stunted childhood that left him with a childlike sense of joy towards the world and other people. He doesn’t seem to have the extreme uncontrollable ups and downs that come with bipolar disorder, or the sensory issues and difficulty understanding social situations and people that’s so common for those of us on the autism spectrum.

_(Side note: it’s really, really common for people to have bipolar disorder and ADHD, or ADHD while also being autistic, or to be autistic and also bipolar. They all combine a lot, and have overlapping traits, so I’m not sure if maybe those overlapping traits could explain the ways your family member reminds you of Schneider?)_

Both those disorders are super important to me though in terms of representation, and if anybody bipolar/autistic has claimed Schneider as one of us, I wouldn’t take that away from them! Because he’s sweet and loyal and he struggles but keeps trying and there are worse role models for people like me.

If anybody does see autistic/bipolar traits in him, I would love to hear the counterargument. I know a few other bipolar people, but don’t know that many people on the autism spectrum, so I could totally be missing things.


	22. Syd and Autism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Syd being Autistic, by request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/182968583470/please-tell-me-more-about-autistic-syd-i-thought)

_Please tell me more about Autistic Syd, I thought I was the only one who had this head canon, I just can't place why I do_

  


Hi!! I need to make more Syd gifs but for now, this one works for everything Syd related tbh because I love it.

Okay, I guess this is my excuse to finally write a meta for Syd. :) First off, all of this rambling about my headcanons for them has to come with the giant warning that because we don’t have a ton of information about Syd except through their relationship with Elena, I’m well aware that this is conjecture and hunches and I can’t always point to specific _aha!_ evidence as to why I interpret them the way I do. In some cases it really is as simple and as complicated as ‘I’m on the spectrum and this thing feels like me, ergo Syd seems Autistic too but you won’t exactly find the thing in the diagnostic criteria.’

Okay, so what **do** we know about Syd? They’re big into social justice, nerdy fandom, and Elena. They’re also not super good at reading nuanced or complicated social cues, a potential Autistic clue. A lot of what we see between them and Elena when conflict arises is that they either expect Elena to know what they mean even when they’re not expressing it very clearly (Benihana’s), or they misunderstand Elena’s behavior and from it draw the wrong conclusion (the cookie, the lockdown). Now, granted, miscommunication happens to neurotypical people too…but it’s definitely an Autistic flag for me, especially when you can see it in Syd compared to Elena, who is also a social justice and fandom nerd, but who trips herself up in other ways (usually anxiety and inexperience).

What about social norms more broadly? We know that Syd is homeschooled, though we don’t know why. It could be their parents’ choice for all kinds of reasons, or it could have been decided that homeschooling would be the best way to educate Syd and/or their brother for reasons having to do with the kids. We don’t know, because we know nothing really about their home life. Either way, Syd is a loveable weirdo but capable of getting along with others, including new people. They may approach socializing in an unconventional way (see Alex and the zombie video), but they clearly make online friends well enough and seem fairly comfortable among groups of people (like Elena’s family).

It’s impossible to tell whether their quirkiness makes homeschooling a good fit for them, or if being homeschooled helped **make** them quirky. But I’m not willing to rule out the possibility that Syd’s parents chose homeschooling to support their Autistic needs and sensitivities while they were growing up. The reality is, older Autistic kids aren’t always the media cliches you see of people who rock in a corner and don’t respond to others. Everyone’s different, and a lot of us develop strategies to pass as somewhat neurotypical, or as close as we can manage…and especially those of us assigned female at birth (which it seems like Syd was) who are less commonly diagnosed than Autistic boys, we can get really good at it. I spent my entire school career being considered a freak–overenthusiastic, incapable of controlling my emotions and thoughts, different from everyone else in a thousand tiny ways that nobody could have pinpointed but everybody recognized–but nobody ever thought I might be developmentally disabled. I navigated things well enough that I was just ‘weird.’ With a caring and supportive home environment that also doubled as school, Syd might have reached the same place by the time they were sixteen.

Also, while Syd is comfortable around Elena’s family and in public places like the school dance, they seem pretty introverted too. Faced with a party, they’re more likely to dive into a magazine or escape to the balcony as they are to make small talk. Their interactions with Alex, one-on-one, seem much more comfortable, but that may be because they already have the established common ground of Elena that makes it easier for them to engage in conversation. Introversion also does not automatically equal Autism, but being Autistic can look a lot like introversion, in a social context. I hate small talk and tend to be quiet at parties until I find one person I actually want to talk to, and then I tend to be very animated and never shut up. Sound at all like Syd with Alex, once talking to Elena fizzled out?

Something I’ve found to be true in my own experience is that Autistic people, who have to learn social norms that come easily to other people, are capable of seeing them for the arbitrary boundaries they are. The fact that gender is a social construct is something that’s always made perfect sense to me, because as a society we make all the rules up–and the less sense they make to Autistic people, the more aware of that we are. Breaking them is a choice, rather than some kind of defiance of a perfect higher order. In other words, if Syd is Autistic, that might have helped them become as comfortable as they seem to be in their own skin and identity, accepting their nonbinary nature rather than feeling the need to fight it.

Syd definitely fits the Autistic traits of having specific interests and being logically oriented. They’re not especially rigid or obsessive about them, though, that we see. Their reasons for not telling Elena their sexual history before they’re in the hotel together follow Syd’s own internal logic, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not. And they have some intense interests, that span a range of geeky fandoms. But we don’t see any narrow focus and deep well of knowledge about one area. I certainly know from personal experience that fandom can be a special interest, and if we knew more about Syd outside their relationship with Elena, we might learn that they do have one passion that they’ve spent years fixated on. The big ask shows us that they’re creative in an eccentric, enthusiastic way, which always gets my attention for potential spectrum qualities.

We don’t see any obvious sensory issues with Syd. They don’t show any unusual sensitivities to foods or clothing textures, loud noises, etc. They do have a slightly unusual voice, a little flat in tone with less expressiveness, which can be an Autistic trait.

One other trait that codes Syd as Autistic is their relationship to honesty. Unlike Elena, who sometimes lies, Syd is persistently honest. The traits that make them unusual, even ones that might seem unflattering, they are nothing but upfront about. And they’re trusting, taking others at their word as well. After knowing Elena for months and never once hearing about or meeting any of her friends, they completely believe her lie that she’s popular at school, when other people would have been naturally suspicious. This could be because they are young and in love and want to see the good in the world around them…or it could be because they tell the truth and expect the same from everyone else. When you go from ‘likes to believe that people are honest’ to ‘never even considers the possibility of lying as something people could do,’ that’s a significant spectrum quality.

Now, honestly, based solely on what we see of Syd in canon, are they Autistic? It’s kind of impossible to tell for sure. We just don’t know enough about their home life and how they are when they’re not with Elena, to say with total certainty one way or the other. If they are Autistic, they definitely only display mild traits on the show. No repeating words a lot, stimming, avoiding crowds or small talk, etc. But since every Autistic person is different, and lots of spectrum kids grow up with behavioral therapy support now and learn much better coping mechanisms than I did at Syd’s age, it’s entirely possible they could be Autistic even without showing more intense, ‘classic’ signs in their limited screentime.

So personally, I like my headcanon that Syd may be Autistic. Because whether they are or not, they are definitely a giant, wonderful nerd–and the kind of character I would enjoy sharing a common experience like Autism with, when it’s so often portrayed on TV in ways that are hurtful or unrealistic.

**tl;dr Syd definitely has some traits that could be read as Autistic; we don’t see them enough to know for sure; I claim them as one of ours anyway because they’re awesome so I say you can too, if you want :)**


	23. Schneider and Penelope's Romances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on how Schneider compares to Penelope's love interests in S1 & S2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this **before** S3 gave us the ultimate speech proving Schneider is the guy Penelope belongs with, so that makes this even more fun now. On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171085922750/schneider-the-romances-of-penelope-alvarez-meta)

# SCHNEIDER + THE ROMANCES OF PENELOPE ALVAREZ: META RAMBLE

So I’ve seen a lot of people discuss the ways that Schneider and Victor mirror each other in S1. And I think that in terms of major story arcs, that comparison is the most important, but we don’t talk enough about the way Schneider mirrors the best aspects of **every** guy Penelope goes out with.

##  **VICTOR:**

  * likes to seem tougher than he is
  * believes nothing is more important than looking out for his family
  * except maybe his patriotic ideals
  * struggles with trauma and addiction



Schneider does all of the above, but in much less toxic ways. He’s a big marshmallow who wants to seem like a tough guy–except not if it means hurting people. His pride isn’t more important to him than other people’s feelings. Ever.

He would do anything for the Alvarez family, and they’re not even his. Except they are, because they mean the whole entire world to him. He’ll bust in without hesitation to protect Elena from being alone with a boy who might try to take advantage of her, he’ll have a panic attack over the slightest possibility that Alex might not be safe in his charge, and he’ll let Penelope stab him where it hurts without fighting back if he think it’s what she needs. Because they’re his family.

And unlike Victor, that’s all that he needs to know. It doesn’t matter what they’re dealing with or who they turn out to be, he’s there. Above everything else, he’s always right there. 

Victor goes back into active combat because 9/11 makes him feel like he owes it to his country, and to his daughter. I totally get that, for his character, and it helps explain him a bit better when we learn about that in S2. But he’s comfortable making that decision on everyone’s behalf, knowing the risks and knowing that he and his wife had a plan–which didn’t include him deciding to put his country and his fears for his baby’s safety ahead of everything else.

Schneider decides to become an American citizen despite benefiting greatly from being a rich Canadian living in the US…and he does so because Elena convinces him that he might risk losing them if he doesn’t. And the only moment he seems actually worried about the dangers of outing himself as undocumented is when he realizes that getting sent back to Canada would mean never seeing them again.

Victor’s family and love of America is why he does things that change his entire family’s future– **without** them getting a say.

Schneider’s family and love of America are completely intertwined, and it’s his love for them that motivates his best decisions–not just risky ones.

The decision to go back into the Army is what messes Victor up, with the addictions and the trauma. And his pride and need to be ‘strong’ means he refuses to face it and deal with it, because he’d rather not seem weak by admitting he has a problem or needs help or can’t fix himself on his own.

Schneider’s emotionally barren childhood and loss of what little support system he had as a young adult gave him the trauma that fed into his addictions. And while his is nothing like Victor’s, you can still see it haunts him. 

He’s desperate to give and receive love, but terrified of losing it, which leads him to bounce between ‘no strings’ relationships that don’t scare him but do hurt…and considering marriage to anybody who’ll have him, while he puts all of his love on a family that he has no actual rights to, simply because they let him.

Where Victor won’t admit his problems, Schneider goes to rehab six times. And he’s honest about how hard it is to stay sober. Where Victor insists he’s right just because he’s the dad, or the husband, Schneider will apologize when he’s called out–or correct himself. Victor isn’t willing to seem vulnerable or ‘weak’–even when he tries to win Penelope back it’s with smirking bravado and lies. Schneider is willing to rehash the most pathetic, broken parts of his own history to give Penelope courage. 

Victor was Lydia’s adored son in law for almost two decades, and when she might die he’s nowhere to be found. Schneider gives her mood lighting and tries not to cry at the thought of losing her.

Schneider doesn’t share Penelope’s culture, like Victor does…but he makes an even larger effort to try, because of his privilege. He learns Spanish, he joins in their meals and events and does his best to be a good ally. 

##  **MAX:**

  * focuses his life on helping people
  * loves children and is very family focused
  * is willing to have a casual relationship, but really wants more than that
  * charms Penelope’s family, especially her mom



Again, Schneider shares all these traits, they just manifest differently.

He doesn’t need to work, but he uses his time to mentor kids, or teach exercise classes, or give his entire apartment complex the love and attention they each need. He spends his time figuring out, unasked and unpaid, **just because he cares,** what will make each tenant happy beyond the landlord business he’s actually called for. He doesn’t have the specific type of strength that saw Max (and Victor) through war, but he has the same drive to help others. 

Max enjoys Penelope’s kids, and has always dreamed of having a family of his own. In the one exchange we see him have with Alex at the dance, he seems pretty good with him, too.

Schneider claims he’s never really thought about kids for himself, and I think that whether he really hasn’t, or he claims he hasn’t because he already decided long ago that he’s not dad material, it’s easy to understand why he doesn’t have kids of his own. His parents growing up were completely disastrous–neglectful, distant, cruel, inconsistent. His best role models were family employees.

But whatever his thoughts on having kids of his own, he’s really good with them. He supports Elena and looks after Alex and is trusted to watch tenants’ grandbabies—a really high level of trust, especially placed in someone who can come off as careless or incompetent.

And so as a guy who has endless piles of love to give, who learned that he couldn’t expect to consistently receive it, Schneider is completely obsessed with the Alvarez family. He puts them in his art projects, he joins all their family gatherings, he tries to contribute and help out and makes them the center of his world. 

He doesn’t need to have kids, to start his own family, because he already found the one he wants. And they let him keep them.

When it comes to his relationship with Penelope, because that’s how we know him, Max is open to a casual relationship from the start, because he likes Penelope and it’s what she wants. But the moment she starts to show signs of wanting things to be more serious, he’s more than ready. It’s actually what he’s wanted all along. He also says ‘I love you’ first, and is the first to bring up kids. 

Schneider has casual relationships only, and extolls their benefits to Penelope, but like Max he’s really open to more, and trying to follow his partners’ lead. He considers marriage twice in two seasons, in one case with a woman whose name he doesn’t even know–this is a guy desperate to belong to someone. 

He tries to get more affectionate with his non-girlfriend then does his best to look like it doesn’t hurt when she rejects him. The moment she claims him as her boyfriend, in complete opposition to what they agreed their affair is, his response isn’t to try putting things back the way they were. He leaps right to a proposal, as though he was just waiting for her to decide they could be more.

Max wins Penelope’s mom over before they even admit to dating, and Lydia holds him up as the ideal specimen of a man forever after. But despite their styles being totally different, and Lydia coming to see Schneider as more of a sweet idiot who she adopted…before there was a Max to literally sweep her off her feet, Lydia was groping a shirtless Schneider and getting him to check out her ass in public. If he weren’t already family, Schneider would almost certainly win Lydia’s approval as a tall, handsome, charming guy, in spite of not being Cuban.

##  **BEN**

  * supports Penelope through her coming to terms with Elena’s identity
  * tolerates her mother’s quirky intrusion into their dates
  * respects Penelope’s boundaries



We have less to work with here, as Ben is only around for two episodes. But he’s the first man we see Penelope date, and it’s very telling that the basic reasons he’s appealing to her are also characteristics Schneider shares.

Because of his own experience with his brother, Ben is able to reassure Penelope that she’s still a good mom and she can love her daughter while she works out her own issues. This is how they bond, enough so that she’s actually willing to date him when she’s been hesitant thus far.

Funnily enough, though, after Elena comes out to her and she realizes she feels weird, where does she go? To Schneider, at one in the morning. Before she meet Ben and he gives her hope that things will get better, it’s Schneider who talks her through her feelings in the immediate aftermath.

Ben never makes it to the stage where he would be expected to meet Lydia. But she intrudes on their dates virtually anyway, even hijacking his phone to keep tabs on them. He is pretty cool about that, where another guy might be bothered by it. 

At the same time, Schneider’s entanglement with their family means that Lydia sometimes does the same to him, meddling with his one night stands and sussing out his potential future with a woman he’s willing to take dance tips for. He never minds even a little bit.

One of Ben’s best qualities (that we know of, anyway) before Penelope breaks up with him is his respect for her boundaries. She doesn’t have recent dating experience when they start going out, and her self-imposed rules are a little old-fashioned, but he goes with them. Even when he makes jokes about the number of dates remaining until they take things to the next level, it’s clear he’ll wait.

Schneider wanders around her apartment in a towel, agrees to play her husband at a car dealership, and intimates that he would willingly have sex with her if she wanted because he’s ‘a good friend’…but he is completely respectful of her, he never crosses any lines or even edges near them. No uninvited touches, no lewd remarks, no blatant ogling. With Penelope, he is a total gentleman.

##  **SCHNEIDER:**

  * is always there for not just Penelope, but both her children and her mom
  * is the one she trusts with secrets she won’t even tell her family or her dates
  * includes her in his hobbies and his relationships, and supports hers
  * doesn’t lie to her, or encourage anyone else to lie to her
  * loves her unconditionally, with no expectations or demands



_**TL;DR** Schneider is the guy who Penelope can’t see has everything she’s looking for in a partner, because he’s already standing right there next to her._


	24. Schneider Facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Collection of every fact we learn about Schneider in S1-2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On my blog [here.](https://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171980122720/a-guide-to-schneider-of-odaat)

# A GUIDE TO SCHNEIDER OF ODAAT

Factsheet for seasons 1 and 2. Assumes all statements from/about Schneider are true. Sources (relevant quotes listed by episode) can be found [here](http://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/post/171980121755/the-ultimate-citation-list-for-schneider-of-odaat).

_1\. Family  
2\. Childhood  
3\. College  
4\. Addiction/Recovery  
5\. Love/Sex  
6\. Hobbies/Interests  
7\. Work/Volunteerism  
8.Alvarez/Riera Family  
9\. _ _Personal Style  
10\. _ _Misc_

##  **– FAMILY –**

**Mom #1:** Birth mom, still living. 

**Mom #2:** First stepmom, no details available.

**Mom #3:** Second stepmom, kind of a jerk.

**Mom #4:** Third stepmom, who he loved. She would take him to the racetrack to spy on his father. May have thrown a mint julep in his father’s face after finding him with a woman named Rebecca.

**Mom #5:** Fourth stepmom, Rosa, formerly his hot nanny. Would sometimes join him to watch telenovelas while he ate in front of a massive TV. Got jealous of the housekeeper moving in on her man–threatened to throw live scorpions on that woman while she slept.

**Father:** Never came to his games. Told him on his ninth birthday, ‘You don’t need me anymore.’ Laughed when 15-year-old Schneider confessed his interest in becoming a professional tap dancer. Did not offer forehead kisses. Told him ‘Only losers cry’ when he left Canada at 18.

**Chauffeur:** Paco, gave him a sex talk in a Bentley. Called periods ‘Shark Week.’

**Grandparents:** Alive in Pasadena, he has no relationship with them. His grandmother used to put Vicodin in her coffee, her lemonade, and her sandwiches. 

**Cousin:** Gordy, who still lives in Canada.

**Babysitter:** Had an affair with his dad while Schneider looked after her kids. 

##  **– CHILDHOOD –**

Born in Vancouver, 40 years before the events of the pilot. 

Had four nannies. 

Grew up rich but was always alone. 

Lots of arguing/fighting in his home. No family meals.

Learned about periods at 12. 

Drank peach schnapps out of unused tap shoes at 15. 

Rented Jane Fonda workout tapes instead of trying to sneak porn videos. 

##  **– COLLEGE –**

His father expanded his business to the US when he was 18. Schneider didn’t want to go with him, cried at the airport and during the whole flight. He left behind four step-families, a maid, a butler, a chauffeur, and a horse groomer he had bonded with.

Drank and used a lot of cocaine while attending Pepperdine University. Does not remember attending classes there.

Was in a yacht rock band, Full Sail, during college. Considered them family; used to show up at their dorm rooms unannounced and hang out for hours. 

Overstayed his student visa, lived ‘in the shadows’ of Pepperdine University until he got a green card with the help of his lawyer.

##  **– ADDICTION/RECOVERY –**

Is addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, cigarettes, and snow globes, sex, and possibly spinning. 

His father’s lack of emotional support and moving to America contributed to his drinking and drug problem.

Tried to ride a moose while drunk.

Was filmed nude in public at a hockey game. The video can be found on Youtube under the search term 'Zam-boner.’

Went through rehab six times, paid for by his father. His fourth attempt at rehab was in a detox center in El Segundo.

Attempted to keep his addiction and recovery issues a secret from his tenants.

July 4, 2011 was the day he accepted that he could never have alcohol or drugs again.

Received his 5-year sober chip 10 months prior to the events of the first episode.

Is accustomed to being the only sober guest at dinner parties. 

##  **– LOVE/SEX –**

Claims that love isn’t real based on his childhood models of relationships.

Believes being on the rebound is the best time to get married because you don’t have time to think.

Comes to the conclusion that women are another expression of addiction for him and briefly attempts to replace sex with spinning.

Believes sex can be an expression of friendship.

Promotes casual sex, believes you don’t always have to have a relationship with a capital “R.” Is comfortable with hookups, even with women who don’t like him as a person.

Is attracted to Elizabeth Warren and Jane Fonda.

Is interested in single moms.

Is pleased to have been invited to several Pride parades.

Expresses an interest in ‘Netflix and chilling’ with his best friend and her boyfriend at the same time.

##  **– PERSONAL STYLE –**

Thinks Penelope’s tall, muscular boyfriend looks just like him. Also thinks he looks only two or three years older than a teenager. 

Is attached to one specific chest-waxer, Roberto who doesn’t make it sting. 

Uses sheet masks.

Gets his eyebrows threaded.

Owns a bald eagle thong.

##  **– HOBBIES/INTERESTS –**

In 2001, played rap-rock-ska music and considered himself a male Gwen Stefani. Had been to Cuba four times.

Uses his garage for pickling and sea horse breeding.

Has a costume trunk that includes a magnifying glass.

Practices Penjing, the Chinese art of tray scenery. 

Cooks fancy hipster food, like nutted quinoa and black olive tapenade.

Belongs to an adult kickball team. 

Owns all the video game equipment that Elena uses to run a Twitch account. 

Is asked by his cousin to judge a poutine festival in Saskatoon. 

##  **– WORK/VOLUNTEERISM –**

Has been fired a lot.

Considered the job temporary when his father bought the building and made him property manager. 

Even while being property manager, claims he does not work. 

As the building super, provides companionship and emotional support to the tenants because he received none growing up.

Does outreach at a rec center, talking to at-risk youth.

##  **– ALVAREZ/RIERA FAMILY –**

Did not speak a word of Spanish before he met them, but secretly took lessons to become fluent because he considers himself a contributing family member.

Lydia Riera visited him at the rehab center in El Segundo, brought him chicken soup and was emotionally supportive. After his release, he began spending more time in her apartment. 

Penelope Alvarez is his best friend. He would be honored to be her maid of honor. 

Has spoken to his lawyer about legally changing his last name to Alvarez.

Has included the Alvarez/Riera family in both tray scenery and a snow globe of his own creation. 

##  **– MISC –**

Loves Maroon 5, puns, and giving himself and others nicknames.

Was Stephen Hawking for Halloween.

Has a panic room and a safe, as well as a gas mask, water purification pills, MREs, and enough cash to get to Cape Verde by boat. 

Followed Penelope’s boyfriend on Instagram, but not Penelope.

Does not test well. Has failed drug, sobriety, vision, IQ and smog tests. 

Considers himself not good in crisis situations.

Has never really thought about having kids, but has babysitting experience.

Believes that because he’s in the highest income bracket, he doesn’t have to pay taxes.

Didn’t vote in Canadian elections while living in the U.S.


End file.
